Buffyverse Wiki
Advertisement
Buffyverse Wiki
 TEASER

 EXT.  BERRYMAN HIGH SCHOOL - NIGHT

 Establishing shot panning along the school's exterior. Note that in the pilot
 it's called 'Berryman' not 'Sunnydale' High School.


 INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM - NIGHT

 A dark, empty classroom. Rows of desks, a human skeleton hanging from a stand,
 a side table with scientific equipment.

 We PAN slowly towards the window when: CRASH! The window shatters. A hand comes
 in and fumbles for the latch, opens the window.

 We see a teenage BOY and his girlfriend, who isn't actually named in the pilot;
 but she's played by Julie Benz and so we'll call her DARLA.

 DARLA
 Are you sure this is a good idea?

 BOY
 It's a great idea.

 He climbs through the window, helps Darla to get through.

 DARLA
 So, you go to school here?

 BOY
 I used to.

 DARLA
 Nice.

 BOY
 Gets better. You alright?

 He takes her hand and leads her out of the classroom.


 INT - SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT

 The school auditorium has a stage which is being dressed for a play: odd doors
 and staircases leading nowhere. Darla wanders in, fascinated.

 DARLA
 Wow.

 The boy walks over to a CONSOLE and hits a button. A TRAPDOOR opens in the stage
 floor just next to Darla's feet. She jumps back with a gasp.

 BOY
 Pretty cool, huh?

 DARLA
 I could have fallen.
 
 BOY
 I would have caught you.

 He kisses her. But she suddenly breaks the kiss, looks around in alarm.

 DARLA
 Oh, what was that?

 BOY
 (no clue) What was what?

 DARLA
 (worried) I heard a noise.

 BOY
 It's nothing.

 DARLA
 Maybe it's something.

 BOY
 Maybe it's someTHING!

 DARLA
 That's not funny.

 BOY
 (shouts) Hello? (to Darla) There's nobody here.

 DARLA
 Are you sure?

 BOY
 I'm sure.
 
 DARLA
 Okay.
 
 And with that she MORPHS INTO VAMPFACE and BITES down on his neck with a hungry
 growl.
 
 END OF TEASER
 OPENING CREDITS

 
 EXT. BERRYMAN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
 
 The start of a new school day. A huge crowd of students make their way to the
 entrance.

 We focus on a pair of FEET walking up the steps from the street. Clad in a short
 red skirt and sneakers. REVERSE AND PAN UP to reveal BUFFY. She's currently blowing
 bubblegum. She seems a little lost; then pulls out a PIECE OF PAPER from her purse
 and consults it, then walks forward into the school more confidently.


 INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY

 Busy and bustling, just like the outside. Buffy walks down the corridor with
 PRINCIPAL FLUTIE.

 FLUTIE
 I don't think you'll have any problem adjusting, Bunny.

 BUFFY 
 'Buffy'.

 FLUTIE
 Just remember our personal rules. No gang colors, no fur. No hanging from the
 rafters in the cafeteria screaming "Meat is murder!" on Sloppy Joe day. That
 became very popular last month, had to put my foot down.
 
 BUFFY
 (trying to interrupt) Principal Flutie…

 FLUTIE
 Betty?

 BUFFY
 I just want you to… 'Buffy'. …to know that I'm not going to cause trouble. There's
 not going to be any incidents like at my old school.

 FLUTIE
 Well, I certainly hope not.

 BUFFY
 No. I'm here to have fun. (beat) But, I mean… learning. Fun with learning.

 FLUTIE
 Don't worry. I think you'll fit in just fine.


 EXT.  SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY

 Kids hang out and wander up and down. WILLOW is sitting on a stone bench, by
 herself, reading a book. She turns round as XANDER calls her name, running over
 towards her. He's carrying a skateboard.

 XANDER
 Willow! You're so very much the person I wanted to see.

 WILLOW
 (pleased) Oh, really?
 
 XANDER
 Yeah. You know, I kinda have a problem with the math.

 WILLOW
 (not so pleased) Which part?

 XANDER
 The math. (He sits) Can you help me out third period? Please be my study buddy?

 She finds it hard to resist his charm.

 WILLOW
 (flirty) What's in it for me?

 XANDER
 A shiny nickel…

 WILLOW
 Okay. But you shouldn't be having a problem with it, Xander. Mr Worth says you
 never pay attention.

 She gets up to go.

 XANDER
 I pay attention! Just not to him.

 Willow walks off across the courtyard, where her path crosses that of CORDELIA,
 HARMONY and another CORDETTE.

 CORDELIA
 Willow! Nice dress. (Willow walks away quickly) Good to know you've seen the
 softer side of Sears.

 The girls laugh at Willow's humiliation. As they do, a handsome GUY walks up
 to them.

 GUY
 Hey, Cordelia! Are you going to the Bronze tonight?

 CORDELIA
 Not with you.

 She walks off, leaving him cold. Harmony follows her, confused.

 HARMONY
 But we're going, right?

 CORDETTE
 Who's playing?

 HARMONY
 Dingoes Ate My Baby. They rock.

 A badly dressed student walks past them.

 CORDELIA
 Grunge, wow! What a new look! (To the other two) I know flannel's so over but I
 can never tell what's coming next!

 Xander rushes over, trying to join in their conversation.

 XANDER
 I don't know about you but I'm scared.

 CORDELIA
 Excuse me, was I talking to you? Has any girl ever spoken to you of her own free
 will? I don't think so.

 XANDER
 You know, I've often wondered why that is.

 CORDELIA
 Got a mirror?

 They walk off. Xander grins ruefully and gives them a mock salute.

 XANDER
 Check back tomorrow, I'll have that devastating comeback ready.

 As he watches them leave, BUFFY runs up. She's looking in her PURSE and doesn't
 see him; she bumps straight into him, spilling the contents everywhere.

 BUFFY
 Ooh!

 XANDER
 Whoa! sorry about that.

 He helps her pick her things up

 BUFFY
 Oh, that's okay, I was totally phasing. (They smile at each other) I'm trying to
 find the library?

 XANDER
 (points) It's over there.

 BUFFY
 Thanks.

 XANDER
 I don't know you, do I?

 BUFFY
 I'm Buffy. I'm new.

 She leaves. Xander watches her go, smitten.

 XANDER
 You're new and improved.

 He notices she's missed something, picks it up and calls after her.

 XANDER
 Oh, hey, you forgot your… (looks at it) …stake?


 INT.  LIBRARY - DAY

 Buffy pushes open the door and walks in, looking around.

 BUFFY
 Hello? Hi? Is anybody here?

 She looks over the counter… nothing… and turns around. And bumps into GILES,
 who's silently appeared just behind her.

 BUFFY
 Oh! Anybody's here.

 GILES
 Can I help you?

 BUFFY
 Textbooks. I - I'm looking for textbooks.

 GILES
 Ms Summers?

 BUFFY
 Good call. Guess I'm the only new kid, huh?

 Giles rushes behind the counter.

 BUFFY (cont'd)
 So. I'm taking Eurocentric history, and I'm gonna need…

 GILES
 I think I know what you're after.

 He smiles, reaches down and places a huge, heavy, old and very dusty TOME on the
 counter. Its title reads 'Vampyr'.

 He and Buffy stare at each other for a long moment. He's eager to please. She's
 shocked and horrified.

 BUFFY
 That's not what I'm looking for.

 She backs away.

 GILES
 Are you sure?

 BUFFY
 I'm way sure.

 GILES
 My mistake. Oh. What is it you said…

 But Buffy's out the door.

 GILES (cont'd)
 …you wanted?


 INT.  CLASSROOM - DAY

 Class is in session. Buffy sits at a desk, looking worried and annoyed.

 The BELL sounds and people get up to leave. WILLOW notices Buffy, goes up to her.

 WILLOW
 Hi?

 BUFFY
 Hi!

 WILLOW
 Mr Barnes said I should help you get caught up, if you're having trouble… (awkward)
 Or I could… not…

 Buffy smiles reassuringly.

 BUFFY
 No! That'd be great. History isn't my best subject. I sort of lack a best subject.
 I'm Buffy.

 WILLOW
 I know. I'm Willow.

 Buffy shakes her hand.

 BUFFY
 Good to meet you.


 EXT.  SCHOOL COLONNADE - DAY

 Buffy and Willow walk along, chatting.

 WILLOW
 That's a great outfit.

 BUFFY
 Thanks! I'm totally jamming on your dress.

 WILLOW
 Oh, no. It's dorky. I'm aware that it's dorky.

 BUFFY
 Not a jot. It's lush. Laura Ashley's definitely back.

 WILLOW
 You think?

 BUFFY
 She's back, and this time it's personal. You see, they mated her with the Home
 Depot guy, and that's how we got Martha Stewart.

 WILLOW
 Wow.

 BUFFY
 Can I ask you - what's up with the school librarian?

 WILLOW
 You met Mr Giles.

 BUFFY
 Yeah. Is he new?

 WILLOW
 He started a few weeks ago. He used to be the curator of some British museum. I
 don't know why he'd work here, except that we do have some… pretty important…
 collections.

 She tails off as CORDELIA and HARMONY approach them.

 CORDELIA
 Hi, I'm Cordelia. I just thought we'd be a little welcoming committee, help you
 get adjusted. (pointedly) Explain who to hang with, and why.

 BUFFY
 Thanks.

 CORDELIA
 Quite frankly, when I saw those shoes I knew there was a beautiful bond of
 sisterhood between us.

 She and Harmony put their arms around Buffy, lead her away. Abandoned, Willow
 slinks off.

 CORDELIA (cont'd)
 Really! I was very, very moved.


 INT.  WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM - DAY

 Two GIRLS walk in, discussing the new girl.

 FIRST GIRL
 The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. What kind of name is 'Buffy'?

 Another GIRL walks past.

 OTHER GIRL
 Hey, Aphrodesia.

 APHRODESIA
 Hey.

 FIRST GIRL
 Well, the chatter in the caf is that she got kicked out and that's why she's
 starting in the middle of the semester.

 They sit down next to their lockers.

 APHRODESIA
 Neg!

 FIRST GIRL
 Pos. She was starting fights!

 APHRODESIA
 Negly.

 They're opening their lockers.

 FIRST GIRL
 Well, I heard from Blue, she said that she saw the transcript…

 And she SCREAMS as a BODY falls out of her locker onto her. It's the boy from the
 teaser. Stone dead.


 EXT.  COURTYARD - DAY

 As Buffy walks along, Xander runs up behind her. He's still waving her STAKE.

 XANDER
 I've been trying to work this out. And all I can figure is that you're building a
 really little fence.

 Buffy takes the stake and pops it back in her bag.

 BUFFY
 Oh, this… er… no! Actually it was for self-defense. My last school was kind of
 interesting.

 (During the next scene Xander will be pointing out various YOUTH SUBCULTURES in
 the form of Berryman High School students hanging out with their friends.)

 XANDER
 Well, it's pretty mellow here. You'll be playing once you know your way around.
 Ah, those guys? The Housers. They'd be genuine hard-core gangstas except for
 the upper-class white guy stigma.

 Buffy chuckles.

 XANDER (cont'd)
 Total wannabes, but they're okay. Ah! The Panga Inbreeds. Dudes!

 They look up at him.

 XANDER (cont'd)
 Surf's always up somewhere in the world.

 BUFFY
 Guess it's not that different on my side of the hill.

 XANDER
 Well, try your hand at it.

 BUFFY
 Okay, let's see. Um…mmm. (she points) That would have to be theatre club.

 XANDER
 Oh, well spotted. What gave it away?

 BUFFY
 They're always way gesture-y. (exaggerated gestures) What is the homework?

 XANDER
 (playing along) I didn't GET the homework! And them?

 BUFFY
 Ah… film club.

 XANDER
 They spend their time deciding that every movie is an Existential meditation
 on Freudian sexuality.

 BUFFY
 Even 'The Muppets Take Manhattan'?

 XANDER
 Especially 'The Muppets Take Manhattan'. Ah... the Dirty Girls.

 BUFFY
 Why do you call them… (sniffs) Oh, wow.

 XANDER
 They have 'views' on hygiene. It's... pretty intense.

 BUFFY
 So which group are you affiliated with?

 XANDER
 Well, I've applied to a few, but doesn't look good. I haven't heard back from
 the Dirty Girls.

 Xander sees WILLOW walking towards them.

 XANDER (cont'd)
 Willow! You've met Buffy, right? She might be going to the Bronze tonight.

 BUFFY
 Willow, what's wrong?

 WILLOW
 You didn't hear?

 BUFFY
 Hear what?

 WILLOW
 In the women's locker room. They found someone.

 XANDER
 And?

 WILLOW
 I mean… someone…

 CORDELIA and her CORDETTES have arrived on the scene, and Cordy barges straight
 into the conversation..

 CORDELIA
 Dead.

 BUFFY
 Dead?

 CORDELIA
 Way dead.

 XANDER
 So not just a little dead then?

 CORDELIA
 Don't you have an elsewhere to be?

 BUFFY
 Are you guys sure?

 WILLOW
 I heard it from Ms Ramsey. He was in a locker.

 HARMONY
 I heard he used to go here. And that it was a gang thing.

 WILLOW
 You think he was killed by someone?

 CORDELIA
 No, I'm sure it was natural causes. He crawled up in the locker and died of
 old age.

 BUFFY
 Um, I gotta bug. See you guys later, okay?

 She runs off.

 CORDELIA
 Okay…


 INT.  SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY

 Principal FLUTIE is just coming out of the women's locker room when Buffy
 approaches him. He's pretty shaken.

 BUFFY
 Principal Flutie?

 FLUTIE
 Er, Bambi? (Buffy shakes her head) Barbie? er, Betty? Wilma?

 BUFFY
 'Buffy'.

 FLUTIE
 I am SO sorry about this. I know it's your first day. I just want to say, we
 very seldom… We almost never have dead kids stuffed in a locker. I've a very
 strict policy about that.

 BUFFY
 So it's true?

 FLUTIE
 I know it's hard. Certainly not the welcome I would have planned for you. I
 know you're upset, confused… You've probably go that thing like when you burp
 and you've got that vomity taste in your mouth.

 Buffy looks at him dubiously.

 FLUTIE (cont'd)
 I just want you to know that we're all here for you. If there's anything that
 you need…

 BUFFY
 (perky) Can I look at the body?


 INT.  WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM - DAY

 Buffy walks in, kneels down by the BODY and pulls off the SHEET covering his
 face. There are two small PUNCTURE MARKS on his neck. Buffy looks less than
 impressed at this revelation.

 BUFFY
 Oh, great.


 INT.  LIBRARY - DAY

 Buffy walks in purposefully, sees GILES up on the balcony, and calls up to him.

 BUFFY
 Okay, what's the sitch?

 GILES
 I'm sorry?

 She's impatient and angry.

 BUFFY
 What's the sitch here? You heard about the dead guy, right? The dead guy in the
 locker?

 GILES
 Yes.

 BUFFY
 'Cause it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck
 and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going
 'oooh'?

 As she speaks she's walking up the stairs to the balcony.

 GILES
 I see. Is he… will he rise again?

 BUFFY
 No. He wasn't changed. Just dead.

 GILES
 Oh dear. I was afraid of this.

 BUFFY
 Well, I wasn't. It's my first day. I was afraid that I was to be behind on my
 classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair.
 I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus — and I don't care.

 GILES
 Then why are you here?

 That takes her aback.

 BUFFY
 To… tell you that I don't care. Which I don't. And have now told you. So... bye!

 GILES
 You cannot escape your destiny.

 BUFFY
 Wanna bet?

 And with that she SOMERSAULTS over the rail of the balcony and DROPS twenty feet
 to a perfect landing on the ground.

 GILES
 Do you think it's coincidence, your being here? It was fated.

 BUFFY
 Why can't you people just leave me alone?

 GILES
 Because you are the Slayer.

 He WALKS down the stairs from the balcony.

 GILES (cont'd)
 Into every generation a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world. A Chosen One.

 BUFFY
 Wow, you're gonna do the speech and everything.

 GILES
 One born with the strength and skills…

 Buffy starts speaking over him.

 BUFFY / GILES
 …To hunt the vampires…

 Giles falls silent.
 
 BUFFY
 …to stop the spread of their evil, blah blah blah. I've heard it, okay?

 GILES
 I don't understand this attitude. You've accepted your duty, you've slain vampires
 before.

 BUFFY
 Well, I've both been there and done that. And I'm moving on. Growing as a person.
 Watch it happen.

 GILES
 You have no idea what's going on, do you?

 BUFFY
 (sigh) There's vampires? Big deal. You kill them.

 GILES
 You think vampires are the only threat we face here?

 BUFFY
 What do you mean?

 GILES
 There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

 He picks up BOOKS one by one, piles them in Buffy's arms. She grimaces.

 GILES (cont'd)
 Werewolves. Zombies. Ghouls. Incubi. Succubi. Everything you've ever dreaded
 under your bed but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all
 real.

 BUFFY
 What, you, like, sent away for the Time-Life series?

 GILES
 Yes.

 BUFFY
 D'you get the free phone?

 GILES
 The calendar.

 BUFFY
 Cool. Zombies, huh?

 She struggles with the pile of books, then gives them back to Giles.

 BUFFY (cont'd)
 Okay, first of all I'm a VAMPIRE Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired.

 As they speak we PAN over to find XANDER standing behind the stacks, where he
 was in search of books. He can't quite believe what he's hearing.

 GILES (O.C.)
 But your work is not finished.

 BUFFY (O.C.)
 My work? I'm sixteen! I don't have work. I have homework.

 BACK ON Buffy and Giles.

 GILES
 And you haven't been properly trained.

 BUFFY
 Which is why you're here.

 GILES
 Yes. I - I'm a Watcher. A Watcher serves by finding the Slayer, leading her on
 her path. It is my destiny to guide you.

 BUFFY
 Yeah, well, the last guy they sent to 'guide' me… you see what happened to him.

 GILES
 Yes, I know all about it.

 BUFFY
 You don't know anything about it. You don't know what it's like. I was happy. I
 was Cindy Lou Who just coasting through my life when vampires — which are only
 supposed to be in cheesy movies — start killing people. People I know.

 And I find out I'm the Slayer, the only one in the world, and I gotta stop them.
 And I DO. I train. I hunt. It becomes my whole life.

 Giles sits down and starts cleaning his glasses as he listens to Buffy's rant.

 BUFFY (cont'd)
 I can do things no other kid can do, and actually that's fairly lush, I'm kinda
 into that. So I kill the vampires. Yay me.

 And when it's all over, what's left? My grades are the suck. My social life has
 achieved leper stage. And I get thrown out of school for causing trouble. Not
 exactly a medal and a book deal, if you know what I mean.

 GILES
 Yes, I do.

 BUFFY
 I just wanna be like everyone else. Like anybody else.

 GILES
 But you're not, are you?

 BUFFY
 Well, I mean to be.

 She stomps out of the library.

 ON XANDER, still freaked.

 XANDER
 Oh-kay…


 EXT.  THE BRONZE - NIGHT

 A crowd of young people make their way towards Sunnydale's premier teen hangout.
 We hear rock music from inside, and posters advertise a gig by Dingoes Ate My
 Baby. BUFFY, in a fancy jacket, approaches the entrance and joins the queue for
 admission. A short, dorky guy in front of her in the line turns to talk to her.
 This is JONATHAN.

 JONATHAN
 Are you the new girl?

 BUFFY
 Yeah.

 And that's all they can think of to say to each other; they fall into an awkward
 silence. Fortunately, at that point XANDER rushes over and pushes into the line
 next to Buffy.

 XANDER
 Hey! I'm in line with you here, right?

 BUFFY
 Sure.

 XANDER
 I'm psyched you came.

 BUFFY
 Is the band good?

 XANDER
 Well, they don't know any actual chords yet 
but they have really big amps.
 But it's always a good time, you know.

 BUFFY
 Yeah. It seems normal. A normal thing to do.

 XANDER
 Er... yeah.

 BUFFY
 Well, I mean everyone comes here, right?

 XANDER
 (tentative) So, you didn't do normal things at your old school?

 BUFFY
 Oh, sure. Only. Exclusively. You know, everyday stuff. Homework, student council,
 football team…

 XANDER
 You were on the football team?

 BUFFY
 No! I ch— (stops herself) So, is Willow coming tonight?

 XANDER
 Oh, I saw her sneaking on campus with some guy.
 
 BUFFY
 Willow has a boyfriend?
 
 XANDER
 She does tonight. I didn't know the guy.
 
 Something about this scenario just doesn't seem right to Buffy.
 
 XANDER (cont'd)
 So, you didn't have any extra-curricular choices…
 
 BUFFY
 (interrupting) What was he like?
 
 XANDER
 Who?
 
 BUFFY
 Willow's friend.
 
 XANDER
 Oh, erm, kind of…
 
 BUFFY
 Pale?
 
 XANDER
 Yeah.
 
 BUFFY
 What was he wearing?
 
 XANDER
 (shrugs) Erm… er… a jacket.

 BUFFY
 No. What was it like? I mean,
was it outdated at all, some old style?

 XANDER
 You're really caring about this outfit! Um… yeah. But it was pretty striking.
 You know, sleeves rolled up, collar, very Lionel Ritchie. I mean, who's still
 sporting that look?
 
 And without another word Buffy RUNS OFF AT FULL SPEED.
 
 
 INT. HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
 
 CLICK! The STAGE LIGHTS come on, to reveal WILLOW. She's grinning, enjoying herself.

 WILLOW This is nice. I - I don't usually do this sort of thing.
 
 Her companion is the guy in the jacket that Xander just described. He's blond,
 so we'll call him BLOND GUY. He smiles, walks towards her.
 
 WILLOW (cont'd)
 (to herself) I don't usually get asked. (to him) But I'm having a good time,
 though. Where did you say you went to school?
 
 Blond guy sits down next to her.
 
 BLOND GUY
 Crossroads.
 
 He puts his arm round her.
 
 WILLOW
 So. Time for some kissing, huh?
 
 BLOND GUY
 Relax.
 
 Instead she gets up.
 
 WILLOW
 Oh, we probably shouldn't even be here. Especially after what happened with that
 poor boy.
 
 BLOND GUY
 He had it coming.
 
 WILLOW
 (huh?) What do you mean?
 
 BLOND GUY
 Coming up here alone, at night. With a complete stranger. What kind of an idiot
 would do a thing like that?
 
 Willow looks kind of taken aback at that. Well, wouldn't you be?
 
 BLOND GUY (cont'd)
 What's the matter?
 
 REVEAL that he's now in VAMPFACE. Uh-oh.
 
 BLOND VAMPIRE(cont'd)
 Don't you wanna snuggle?
 
 
 INT.  HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT
 
 Buffy comes running around the corner. Xander, out of breath, is right behind her.
 
 XANDER
 Hey! Wait up!
 
 BUFFY
 Where would they be?
 
 XANDER
 Buffy, uh, what's the sitch?
 
 She passes him her PURSE.
 
 BUFFY
 You might need this.
 
 XANDER
 This wouldn't by any chance be a vampire issue, would it?
 
 Just at that moment WILLOW SCREAMS (O.C.)
 
 XANDER (cont'd)
 The auditorium! I'll try round back.
 
 Buffy's already gone. Xander heads off in the other direction.
 
 
 INT. HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
 
 The BLOND VAMPIRE is BITING at Willow's neck and making hungry growls. They're
 stood in the middle of the stage. Buffy throws open the auditorium doors and
 strides in.
 
 BUFFY
 All right. Get your hands off of her.
 
 BLOND VAMPIRE
 Ooh. Seconds.
 
 Buffy walks forward through the audience seating towards the stage.

 BUFFY
 So what is it with vampires and clothes? You always think the march of fashion
 stopped dead the day you did. It really is such a giveaway.
 
 The vampire tries to bite Willow again, but Buffy SPRINTS towards him, and he
 throws her to one side. Buffy DROP-KICKS him, knocking him down. She stands over
 him.

 BUFFY
 You know, you really shouldn't be here. A vampire, all alone at night. It just
 isn't safe.

 BLOND VAMPIRE
 You've got me wrong.

 BUFFY
 Oh, my bad. You're not a vampire?

 BLOND VAMPIRE
 I'm not alone.

 Buffy looks around apprehensively as several more VAMPIRES emerge from the shadows.

 BUFFY
 Oops. I don't suppose you'd be sweeties and attack me one at a time?

 BLOND VAMPIRE
 You watch too many movies.

 BUFFY
 You can NEVER watch too many movies.

 And the FIGHT is on. Buffy gets in some good kicks, and WILLOW creeps out of the way
 while the vamps are distracted. But then one of them picks Buffy up and THROWS her
 across the room. She hits a table, which collapses under her.

 BUFFY
 Oh. Ow. That was my favorite spine.

 And Xander comes running in, looking around for Buffy.

 XANDER
 Buffy?

 BUFFY
 Get Willow out of here. She's hardly bit, she'll be all right.

 Xander sees a BROOM in a rack on the wall. He grabs it and throws it to Buffy.

 XANDER
 Heads up!

 Buffy puts the improvised weapon to good use, knocking down one of the vamps that's
 running at her. Xander rushes over to Willow and helps her up.

 XANDER
 Can you walk?

 WILLOW
 Oh. Mom was right about boys. Ow.

 They stumble out of the room.


 INT.  BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT

 XANDER
 I'll go get help.

 WILLOW
 Xander, do you usually carry a purse?

 Before she can work it out, though, she's GRABBED by another vampire: it's DARLA.
 But Darla looks at Willow's already bitten neck and tosses her aside contemptuously.

 DARLA
 God, I hate leftovers.


 INT.  AUDITORIUM - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT

 Buffy knocks one vampire down with her broom, but another runs up behind her. But
 he gasps in pain as he connects with the other end of the broom, collapses to the
 ground and TURNS TO DUST.

 BUFFY
 See what happens when you roughhouse?


 INT.  BACKSTAGE - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT

 Darla turns and growls as she notices Xander. He backs away through the backstage
 PROPS and SCENERY FLATS.

 XANDER
 I don't like to hit girls… that I'm afraid of.

 She lunges for him; he dodges, but she grabs him again and GOES FOR HIS THROAT.

 ON WILLOW

 Lying on the floor where Darla threw her. She notices Buffy's purse next to her;
 it's come open and there is a CROSS there. She picks it up and goes over to where
 Darla and Xander are struggling.

 WILLOW
 Excuse me?

 She thrusts the cross in Darla's face. The vampire SCREAMS and a huge cloud of
 SMOKE rises up from her face.

 ON WILLOW as she grimly holds the cross in place. Xander stands up and watches
 over her shoulder.


 INT.  AUDITORIUM - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT

 Buffy is in a running fight with the two remaining vampires. She dashes up the
 stairs built on the stage, throws one vampire back down them, and kicks the other
 over the edge of the balcony into a pile of boxes.

 She takes a moment to recover her breath as the vampire she's just knocked down
 stares up at her. (He's the original one, the blond guy).

 BLOND VAMPIRE
 Who are you?

 She stands up, defiant and cocky.

 BUFFY
 I'm the Slayer.

 The other vampire reacts to that.

 VAMPIRE TWO
 A Slayer?

 And he makes a run for it.

 BLOND VAMPIRE
 Wait!

 VAMPIRE TWO
 (out the door) I'll call you!

 BUFFY
 Better face facts. You've run out of time. You've run out of friends. And nobody
 likes your outfit.

 He's not intimidated, but starts looking for a way up to the balcony. But then
 Xander and Willow rush in. Willow is holding the CROSS in front of her; Xander is
 hiding behind Willow.

 WILLOW
 Freeze! I know how to use this! I think…

 They look around… there's no sign of the vampire anymore. But they do spot Buffy up
 on the balcony.

 XANDER
 Buffy?

 BUFFY
 Be careful, you guys. There's—

 But with a CRASH the vampire bursts through the SCENERY and grapples her. They go
 over the edge of the balcony together, and then through the open stage trapdoor.

 BUFFY
 No!!

 Xander cautiously approaches the edge of the trapdoor - but suddenly the VAMPIRE
 bursts up through it and GRABS HIS WRIST.

 BLOND VAMPIRE
 Your friend can't help you now!

 But he loses his grip as something from below starts PULLING HIM back down into the
 trapdoor.

 BLOND VAMPIRE (cont'd)
 Hold that thought.

 SFX: sounds of fighting from below: things being knocked over, a drum kit being hit,
 growls. Willow and Xander look at each other.

 BUFFY climbs up from the trapdoor back onto the stage. Xander gives her a hand. They
 go and sit down next to Willow, who's nursing her injured neck.

 WILLOW
 I'm really sorry about all this.

 BUFFY
 That's okay. It's kind of a destiny thing.

 XANDER
 So. What does a Vampire Slayer do, exactly?

 Buffy just smiles and shakes her head.


 EXT.  HIGH SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY

 It's the next day; bright and sunny as always. A student from the Film Club is
 putting up a POSTER for their next showing: NOSFERATU.

 CORDELIA, HARMONY and another CORDETTE walk through the courtyard, and notice BUFFY,
 WILLOW and XANDER hanging out and talking to GILES. Who, incidentally, is smartly
 dressed in a heavy jacket and tie despite the hot California sunshine. Buffy is
 playing absently with a STAKE.

 CORDETTE
 Hey, look at them.

 CORDELIA
 Well, it seems Buffy's found her own level.

 HARMONY
 I can't believe we were almost nice to her.

 CORDETTE
 I know!

 They walk off.

 GILES
 I, I'm not saying you didn't do well. Wait - now I am. You didn't do well. You,
 you stunk up the place.

 XANDER
 What, are you kidding? She was huge, she had the moves, the Crane Technique…

 He strikes a martial arts pose, which Buffy finds highly amusing.
 
 WILLOW
 And she saved my life. Which I'm for.

 GILES
 If she'd been a minute later you'd be dead. Or worse. (to Buffy) And you revealed
 yourself. And you, you, you let one of them get away...

 BUFFY
 You know, are you sure you're wearing enough? 'Cause we might get a cloud today.

 Giles takes off his glasses.

 GILES
 I cannot believe that the fate of the world may well be in the hands of this...
 teen thing.

 BUFFY
 Relax. The world's in beauty hands. (she grins at him) Trust me!

 And she takes aim with her STAKE,  THROWS it – and hits right in the heart of the
 picture of NOSFERATU on the film poster.

 FADE TO BLACK

 END OF SHOW
Advertisement