Out of My Mind

"Out of My Mind" is the fourth episode of the fifth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and is the eighty-second episode altogether. It was written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner and directed by David Grossman. It originally broadcast on October 17, 2000.

Buffy seeks help for Riley when she learns that the meds that the Initiative gave him are having a deteriorating effect. Meanwhile, Spike and Harmony kidnap one of the Initiative's doctors to try to get Spike's chip removed.

Synopsis


At the cemetery, Buffy stalks her vampire prey, killing several new vampires with a little unwanted help from both Riley and Spike. Riley demonstrates quite a bit of enthusiasm and new strength while fighting, while Buffy simply orders Spike to stay out of her way. As Buffy and Riley leave, Spike swears to taste Buffy's blood, but as he walks off, he falls into an open grave. Buffy and Willow argue over a topic from class and discuss Buffy's busy schedule.

Buffy arrives at the Magic Box to train and is pleasantly surprised to see that the backroom has been transformed into an amazing training room. Harmony seeks Spike and his help because she is frightened that Buffy is out to destroy her. The two conspire to kill the Slayer. While Joyce makes breakfast for Dawn, she briefly wonders who Dawn is before collapsing onto the floor.

At the hospital, an intern informs Buffy and Riley that Joyce will be fine, but that doctors aren't sure what caused her to collapse. Dawn is playing with a stethoscope and when she listens to Riley's heart, she finds that it is racing much faster than normal.



After listening to Riley's heart, a doctor recommends that he stay in the hospital at the high risk of a heart attack, though Riley dismisses her concerns. Buffy tries to think of a way to help Riley and finally resolves to go to Riley's place and contact the Initiative via the bugs in his room.



Still part of the government, Graham tries to force Riley to see a doctor, but Riley is stronger than Graham and the other agents and gets away. After speaking with Graham later that day, Buffy takes it upon herself to get Riley to a doctor before he dies. Buffy gives Spike information about the doctor that can help Riley, hoping that the vampire could help find Riley and bring him there. Instead, Spike and Harmony go to the doctor and try to force him to remove the chip.

Buffy finds Riley in the Initiative caves, punching into rock because he can't feel any pain. He tells her that he's afraid he won't be enough for her once he lets the doctors operate on him. After convincing Riley to get medical attention, Buffy brings him to the hospital and finds the doctor gone. Just after the doctor finishes sewing up Spike's skull, Buffy arrives with Riley and a fight ensues. As he tries to bite the Slayer, Spike finds that the doctor only pretended to remove the chip from his head. When Riley suffers a heart attack and collapses while fighting Harmony, Buffy immediately turns her attention to him. With Buffy distracted, an enraged Spike escapes with Harmony, ranting about his disgust with Buffy and his weariness with how she is seemingly the source of everything wrong with his life.

The doctor is able to operate successfully on Riley. Later, Graham talks with Riley and tells him he no longer has a purpose in Sunnydale - without the Initiative, he's nothing. Buffy shows up at Spike's crypt, ready to stake him. He's willing to let it happen, daring her to put him out of the misery of living in a world with her in it, being everywhere he turns, ruining everything he plans. She pauses, confused, stake raised, and then hesitates. They stare at each other for a moment, and then he pulls her into a passionate kiss. She pulls back, shocked, but then returns to the embrace. She tells Spike "I want you", and he tells her "I love you Buffy. I love you so much." Spike then awakens, horror-struck beside a still-sleeping Harmony, desperate to deny that the dream was real: "Oh god no. Please, no."

Other

 * While this episode is Riley-centric, and his only centric episode during his time on the show, it also heavily focuses on Spike's attempts to remove the chip.


 * In keeping with one of the themes of the season first raised by Dracula in the first episode of Season 5, "Buffy vs. Dracula," the show opens with Buffy atop a crypt, lying in wait. She surveys the graveyard, and then 'pounces', killing a vampire before it even rises from the grave.

Quotes
Willow - "Better to light a candle than curse the damn darkness."

Buffy - "I so don't want to deal with Spike right now. The guy is really starting to bug me in that special 'I want to shove something wooden through his heart' kind of way."

Spike - "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn she's there! That nasty little face, that bouncing shampoo-commercial hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude." Harmony - "Well, aren't we kinda unholy by def-? " Spike - "She follows me, you know. Tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of torture." Harmony - "Spike!" Spike - "You don't understand. I can't get rid of her. She's everywhere. She's haunting me, Harmony. This has got to end."

Buffy - "You're like my fairy godmother, and Santa Claus, and Q all wrapped up into one. Q from Bond, not Star Trek."

Continuity

 * Buffy and Dawn met Ben Wilkinson.


 * Spike discovered his love for Buffy, much to his horror. Spike's feelings for Buffy will continue and develop.


 * This is the last appearance of the old Sunnydale High School.


 * Willow begins to use magic when not strictly necessary and Tara feels unease with her power and attitude.


 * Spike's violent awakening from his dream of Buffy will be echoed much later when the two finally consummate their relationship - the former ending with Spike jerking awake next to Harmony with the words: "Oh. Oh, God, no," and the latter beginning with Buffy jerking awake next to Spike with the words: "Oh. Oh, God, no."


 * When Riley expresses his fear that he is not enough for Buffy if he is just an ordinary man, Buffy scoffs and says if her goal was to date a man with super powers, then she'd be dating Spike. This foreshadows her decision in the following season to start a relationship with Spike.

Music

 * Nickelback - "Breathe"