Buffy Summers/Relationships



Buffy Summers had various relationships over the years.

Romance
In contrast to her counterpart Faith, Buffy seeks committed relationships rather than casual dates, but is often drawn to dangerous lovers. While discussing a painful reunion with Angel, Buffy asks, "Isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. [A vampire suddenly jumps out of the bushes. Buffy barely reacts, casually stakes the vampire, and continues on her way] I wonder where I get that from." Sympathizing with her friend's inability to have a normal relationship, Willow states, "Poor Buffy. Your life resists all things average." Buffy's attitude to romance was dealt with when she decided not to be dependent on men.

Buffy was romantically linked to the sarcastic slacker Oliver Pike, meeting him shortly before discovering she was the current Slayer. Although they initially hate one another, as Buffy's superficial valley girl perspective is at odds with Pike's ethic, the two grow closer after losing friends to Lothos and his minions, and Pike eventually aids Buffy in her defeat of the vampire king. He broke up with Buffy because he believed that their relationship puts both of them in danger.

Buffy made several attempts at having "normal" relationships with high school boys such Owen Thurman and Scott Hope, with little success. Instead, she finds herself increasingly drawn to the mysterious Angel, and remains attracted to him following the revelation that he is a vampire. The unlikely pairing of a vampire and a Slayer is often commented on, with Giles once referring to their relationship as "rather poetic... in a maudlin sort of way." Buffy's eventual loss of her virginity to Angel, which turns him into a heartless monster, is a metaphor for the real-life situation of a boyfriend who doesn't call his girlfriend the next day. Buffy and Angel are forced to come to terms with the reality of their limitations as a couple. The writers explain that there was only so far they could go with the couple's story, and that inability to consummate love is very real issue for many teenagers. Angel realizes he is preventing Buffy from leading a normal life, and leaves town, but returns on a number of occasions when he feels she might need him; though they apparently move on, several instances of their future meetings and interactions make it clear that they still love each other.

Following Angel's departure, Buffy tries to move on by having an impulsive one-night stand with college student Parker Abrams. She is devastated when Parker later ignores her, having only wanted to have "a good time." After recovering from that, she is then pursued by Riley Finn, a soldier in the Initiative. Although Riley sacrifices his career and friends to be with Buffy, he is continually disappointed by her unwillingness to be truly open and vulnerable with him, admitting to a surprised Xander, "Buffy's like no-one else in the world... But she doesn't love me." Riley also feels that he isn't strong or aggressive enough to satisfy Buffy the way that dangerous vampires did, a fact that Spike picks up on, claiming, "The girl needs some monster in her man, and that's not in your nature." Despite his efforts to understand Buffy's dark desires, Riley slowly drifts away and leaves Sunnydale to rejoin the military. Writer Jane Espenson admits that Buffy's relationship with Riley never really had the fire that her one with Angel did, but states that "it wasn't really meant to." Marc Blucas describes his character's one-sided relationship with Buffy as being something most people could identify with.

Buffy deals with her traumatic resurrection by embarking on a highly destructive sexual relationship with Spike. Exploiting Spike's genuine feelings of love in return for physical solace, she admits "I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just being weak, and selfish... and it's killing me." Their relationship ends on a violent note when Spike attempts to rape a weakened Buffy, but she gradually begins to trust him again, after he regains his soul to make himself worthy of her. By the end of the show, she reaches an emotional closeness with Spike, although Joss Whedon deliberately leaves it ambiguous as to whether or not they resume their sexual relationship. As Spike prepares to sacrifice himself to save the world, Buffy finally tells him she loves him, to which he replies "No, you don't. But thanks for saying it."



While Buffy admitted to having feelings for Spike, she claimed that she is still growing as a person and had not yet decided what she wants from a relationship. Similarly, Angel and a resurrected Spike travel to Rome to find Buffy, Andrew explains: "Buffy loves both of you, but she's gotta live her life." Buffy is supposedly dating the Immortal, who Angel describes as "a centuries-old guy with a dark past who may or may not be evil."

When Buffy creates her "army" of Slayers, a young one called Satsu becomes her closest ally, mostly due to her combat skills. Satsu falls in love with Buffy. When Amy puts Buffy under a sleep spell, which can only be broken by the kiss of someone who's in love with her, it is Satsu that kisses Buffy. Buffy tells Satsu that she doesn't share her feelings. However, the two do end up sleeping together and later comments that she finds Satsu addressing her "M'am" sexy. While Satsu remains in love with Buffy, Buffy explains she cannot return those feelings. The two have sex one last time and part ways indefinitely.

Sexuality


Buffy apparently identifies as heterosexual. When a social worker mistakes Willow as her girlfriend, a flustered Buffy claims, "Oh! Oh, it's not a, a gay thing, you know, I mean, well... she's gay, but, but we don't ... gay. Not that there's anything..." Buffy's sexuality is furthered complicated when she has sex with lesbian Slayer Satsu. This storyline prompted much discussion about the character's sexuality amongst fans. Buffy insists to Satsu that she is not gay, which does not necassarily make her bisexual, contrary to some fan's beliefs. Buffy identifies her encounter with Satsu as an experiment and nothing more so we can most likely deduce that she is still heterosexual. All of Buffy's romantic relationships however have been heterosexual, and her sexual fantasy about Spike and Angel is one surrounded wholly by phallic imagery.

Romantic relationships
Buffy's primary romantic interests were Angel and Spike. The two had parallels and rivalries. When Angel and Spike search for Buffy, Andrew Wells tells the two vampires that Buffy loves them both, but she has to live her life. Buffy is shown dreaming a scenario where both lovers are naked and holding her. The three of them are wrapped in chains and surrounded by cupids or putti, and Buffy wears a nurse outfit. Buffy both indicates to Angel and to Spike that she loves them, although they react with varying degrees of belief.

Other love interests have been relatively more short-lived, including Pike and Riley Finn, an antithesis to Angel and Spike who was her third longest running relationship.




 * Billy Fordham — Buffy developed a crush on Ford in the fifth grade, but he was a "manly sixth-grader" who had no time for younger girls. They became friends at Hemery High, where Ford secretly discovered that Buffy was the Slayer. In 1998, he showed up in Sunnydale and told Buffy that his father had been transferred and that he would be attending the local high school. In fact, Ford had months to live and was there only to find a vampire leader to arrange a deal: the blood of Buffy and his followers in exchange for eternal life. Buffy was devastated by Ford's betrayal, though moved by his cancer. When he rose as a vampire, she staked him without reaction; the Ford she knew and loved had already died.


 * Tyler — In her freshman year of high school, Buffy gossiped about a boy named Tyler with her friends, immediately before she was called as the Slayer. She said of him, "Oh my God! Where were you when I got over Tyler? He's of the past. Tyler would have to crawl on his hands and knees to get me to go to the dance with him. Which, actually, he's supposed to do after practice, so I'm gonna wait."


 * Jeffrey Kramer — Buffy's vain and popular boyfriend during her freshman year at Hemery High, Buffy and Jeffrey grew distant as she took on the responsibility as the Slayer and he finally broke up with her by leaving a message on her answering machine. He went to the dance with Buffy's vapid friend, Jennifer Walkens, but while the pair were having sex, they were interrupted by a vampire attack. Buffy slayed the demons while Jeffrey fled in only his underwear.


 * Oliver Pike — Pike was Buffy's main romantic interest before arriving in Sunnydale. Classmates at Hemery High, they initially hated each other as Buffy's superficial valley girl perspective was at odds with Pike's working class ethics. However, after both losing friends to Lothos, the two grew closer and Pike aided Buffy in killing the vampire king and burning down the school gym full of his minions. Following Buffy's expulsion from Hemery, she and Pike spent time together in Las Vegas, but eventually broke up as Buffy moved to Sunnydale without him. Buffy later told Willow and Xander that she no longer kept in touch with Pike.




 * Angel — Angel initially loves Buffy from afar, watching her as she is called to her destiny as the Slayer; this experience inspires him to move to Sunnydale and become a useful ally in the fight against evil. Buffy loses her virginity to Angel, an experience which triggers the loss of his soul. As Angelus, he attempts to destroy her life, as well as the world, until his re-ensoulment; because of his actions, Buffy is forced to send him to a hell dimension to save the world. When Angel returns, Buffy takes care of him and they try to be friends, but they continue to be drawn to each other. Angel eventually moves to Los Angeles to give Buffy a chance at a more normal life, although they keep in contact. Sparks again fly when Angel comes into contact with demon blood that makes him human again; however, Angel decides that he cannot abandon his fight against evil especially if it means risking her life and her dying quicker, and prevails upon the powers that be to rewind time, leaving Buffy with no memory of their recent happiness together and restoring him to his vampire form. Buffy admits to Angel that she does still look into the future and leaves him with hope that they can be together again at some point in that future. However, Buffy apparently loses trust in Angel after he takes control of Wolfram & Hart. Angel and Spike seek her out in Italy, but never catch up to her. When Angel meets her again after his identity as Twilight is exposed - during which he says that his actions as Twilight were a ruse to allow him to coordinate and limit the damage that the anti-Slayer organizations would otherwise cause-, he implies that there is a reason for their feelings for each other, stating that they have such a connection that they will never be able to be happy with anyone else. Affected by the Twilight glow that enhances their feelings of lust for each other, they have passionate airborne that gives birth to the new universe, Twilight, and causes plenty of chaos. Angel attempts to make Buffy stay in the Twilight universe with him, where they could bend reality to their wishes, while she almost gives in, Buffy instead chose her responsibilities to the world and her friends, which eventually Angel agrees to. After fighting demons a little more, she sends him to fight more demons pouring from another dimension, and goes herself alone to find Spike (against Angel's wishes) to protect the Seed from Twilight, but instead he gets possessed by Twilight and, not himself, fights Buffy to get the Seed. After Twilight-possessed Angel kills Giles, instead of killing him, she smashes the Seed in despair, and Twilight's influence is gone. His guilt leaves Angel catatonic, and Buffy, unable to look at him, puts him into the care of Faith, in Giles's apartment in London.


 * Owen Thurman A sensitive and shy Sunnydale High student, whose date with Buffy became a vampire-hunting adventure that made him feel alive. Fearing that such an attitude would get him killed, Buffy broke up with Owen, unable to tell him the real reason why; nor to say that she still cares for him just as much.




 * Xander Harris — Although Buffy does not return Xander's romantic feelings for her, she flirts and dances seductively with him. Later, under a love spell, Buffy attempts to seduce Xander in the school library. When the love spell is broken, she is grateful that Xander did not take advantage of the situation. Also, 1775 Buffy found Xander more attractive than Angel. While just close friends there are comments made in a dream of Buffy's referring to a sexual relationship between them, with Buffy going as far as to proposition and kiss him before the dream wackiness escalates. Buffy begins to realize she has feelings for Xander but she is too late as he has started a relationship with her sister Dawn. When Buffy confesses to Xander, he doubts the strength of her feelings, noting that she went through a lot of romantic possibilities including experimentation with Satsu before settling on her best friend. Buffy is upset and regretful over this, but understands his feelings.


 * Tom Warner A rich member of Delta Zeta Kappa fraternity, a cult that sacrifices beautiful young high school girls to their demon lord Machida in exchange for worldly success. Tom lures Buffy to a party, pretending to be nicer and less materialistic than his vain fraternity brothers. The leader of the cult, Tom attempts to offer Buffy and Cordelia as sacrifices. Though the only good thing Tom does is prevent Buffy from being date raped by frat brother Richard Anderson after she falls unconscious after being drugged.


 * Cameron Walker A self-absorbed and arrogant swimming athlete at Sunnydale High. Initially, Buffy is interested in the good-looking Cameron, who waxes poetic about the ocean. However, by the end of their first date, he won't take no for an answer and Buffy breaks his nose and gets blamed for leading him on.


 * Scott Hope — A fellow Sunnydale High student who had a crush on Buffy. Scott asks Buffy out several times. Although Buffy is interested in Scott, she is still overwhelmed by her heartbreak over Angel and repeatedly turns him down. Eventually, Buffy decides to date Scott, but Angel's return from Hell distracts her. Buffy and Scott are only together a few weeks; Scott breaks up with her because he is tired with dealing with her ongoing preoccupations. Years later, Buffy learns that Scott had told classmates that they had broken up because she was a lesbian, and has ironically come out as gay himself in college.


 * Parker Abrams — An attractive, older student whom Buffy met in college. Parker was the second person Buffy had sex with. However, he was only interested in having "a good time" and, not wanting a romantic commitment, ignored Buffy after they slept together. Buffy is devastated by his behavior, and maintains a brief hope that they can reconcile. While under the influence of enchanted beer, Buffy saves Parker's life when he is trapped in a burning building. In the aftermath of the rescue, Parker apologizes to Buffy for his actions, and she responds by bashing him on the head with a wooden club.




 * Riley Finn — Buffy's main love interest at UC Sunnydale. Buffy met Riley when she started at college. They begin a serious relationship after discovering each others' demon-fighting secret identities. Riley sacrifices his career and friends to be with Buffy, but is continually disappointed by her unwillingness to be truly open and vulnerable with him. Also Riley felt that he wasn't strong or aggressive enough to satisfy Buffy the way that dangerous vampires did. He begins drifting away, and Buffy is repulsed to discover that he has been visiting vampire prostitutes and allowing them to drink his blood to get a rush from the intoxication of the blood loss. Although Buffy ultimately tries to stop him, Riley rejoins the military, where he is able to continue demon slaying, and leaves the country, returning to Sunnydale only briefly to track down a dangerous demon, with his new wife.


 * Ben Wilkinson — Buffy met Ben when her mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour. They flirted but never dated, because Buffy didn't want to define herself by her lack of a relationship. Also he was one half of a hell goddess, Glory.




 * Spike — Originally enemies, Spike and Buffy become reluctant allies. Spike fell in love, but she did not return his feelings, and is unsettled to discover his growing obsession. Buffy is moved when Spike withstands significant torture to protect her and her sister, and they reconcile and fight side-by-side until her death. After her resurrection, Buffy begins a violent sexual relationship with Spike. She breaks things off, admitting that she is only using Spike and the relationship is "killing her". Spike later attempts to rape an injured and weakened Buffy (she fights him off), and then leaves town in search of his soul. Spike's loyalty to Buffy continues after his ensoulment, they develop a strong, meaningful connection. She even eventually tells Spike she loves him as he is about to sacrifice himself to save the world (to which Spike replies: "No, you don't. But thanks for saying it.", not believing it.). Spike chooses not to contact Buffy after he is resurrected in L.A., wanting her to remember him as a self-sacrificing hero; however, as revealed when they reunite during the Twilight crisis, Buffy had discovered the truth on her own. Though she still has feelings for Spike, she does not act on them. After the destruction of the Seed, both Buffy and Spike settle down in San Francisco and keep in regular contact.


 * R.J. Brooks — Buffy, under the influence of a love spell develops a brief, powerful obsession with this high school quarterback, along with Dawn, Willow, and Anya. She betrays her sister's trust by seducing RJ in an empty classroom, and almost kills Principal Wood to prove her love to him. The spell is broken when Spike and Xander destroy the enchanted letterman's jacket.


 * Principal Robin Wood — Buffy and Wood went on one date, but their relationship never went beyond friendship after he revealed that he was the son of an earlier Slayer.


 * Satsu — As Buffy trained newly activated Slayers, a young girl named Satsu became her closest ally. Satsu fell in love with Buffy; when Amy Madison put Buffy in the influence of a sleep spell, which could only be broken by the kiss of true love, it was Satsu who awakened Buffy from her mystical sleep. Realizing this, Buffy talked to Satsu, telling her that she was flattered to know she felt that way about her, but was not gay herself. Despite this, Buffy ended up having sex with Satsu, in a moment she described as a "wonderful night" but claimed would go no further. However, Buffy did spend a second night with Satsu as a "goodbye."

Behind the Scenes

 * Sarah Michelle Gellar always believed her character was meant to end up with Angel, and was often legitimately emotional during Buffy-Angel scenes. In "The Prom", she could not stop crying while filming the breakup scene, and the set was closed for nearly half an hour to allow her to recover. In "I Will Remember You", David Boreanaz was actually comforting her (he can be heard whispering "Sarah") because she wanted Buffy and Angel to end up together, and was actually crying. Although her stance might have changed since she has refused to comment on who Buffy should end up with.


 * The writers have often toyed with the concept of Buffy and her best male friend Xander being a romantic couple. Xander had a crush on Buffy, but it was unrequited, with Buffy actually rejecting him when he finally admitted his feelings. When Buffy found herself greatly attracted to Xander while under the influence of a love spell, she was grateful to him for not taking advantage of the situation. More recently, Buffy experiences a strange dream in which she propositions Xander and kisses him on the lips, causing his head to pop off. Jane Espenson claims in the DVD commentary for "I Was Made To Love You" that "it certainly was set up that the two of them should end up together". Sarah Michelle Gellar has gone on record as saying, "I honestly believe [Joss'] original intention was to put Xander and Buffy together. I really do believe that."


 * Sarah Michelle Gellar was the one to suggest Spike become a love interest; upon hearing this Joss Whedon was initially quoted as saying "No more vampires!"


 * During scenes in which they were set to appear nude; James Marsters was required to wear a prosthetic sock over his genitialia. Sarah Michelle Gellar notoriously tortured him by tugging on the sock in between takes.