The Long Way Home, Part Two

"The Long Way Home" was the second story from Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight.

Synopsis
Giles is training a horde of Slayers in an unspecified location, and is disappointed in their performances; he tells them that they have a technique and a power that may even be capable of defeating Buffy, but that they're all fighting alone, failing to look out for the rest of the team. In Scotland, Buffy is having the same problem with her Slayers, who are practicing with swords. To demonstrate the problems with their abilities, she asks Leah, Satsu, and Rowena to "kick my ass," yet she easily defeats them. She then compliments Satsu on her hair.

In Southern Italy, Andrew is outside with a group of Slayers, where he is supposed to be teaching them about fighting strategies and techniques. However, he's gotten lost in a ramble about Lando Calrissian, and how he would sooner believe that the Ewoks were capable of defeating the Empire than that a leader would wear Calrissian's outfit. He only gets back to teaching when one Slayer asks him why they use "medieval junk" as weapons instead of guns. Andrew repeats the mandate that Buffy has used for years, that a Slayer never uses a gun. He then goes on to talk about the do's and don'ts of headbutting.

Back in Scotland, Dawn takes a bath in the loch while Xander talks to her about her problems with Buffy. Dawn admits that she feels like Buffy hates her, and expresses jealousy over the fact that Buffy now has 500 "new and improved Slayer sisters." Xander then tentatively asks Dawn if she perhaps made herself giant-sized on purpose. Dawn subsequently splashes him with a sizable wave of water, prompting Xander to complain that he only has two of his military outfits.

In the United States of America, General Voll and his assistant discuss Amy's plan to dispatch Buffy, referring to Amy as "their op." Voll complains that they can't just use a nuclear weapon to destroy Buffy's base of operations, to which his assistant replies that if they were to do so, they would get noticed and most likely indicted. Voll questions his assistant's commitment, saying that, "There is no problem so big or complicated that it can't be blown up." They then discuss that if Amy fails, they will send in her boyfriend to do the job. After this, Voll goes to take a nap, and once he's in his private quarters, it is revealed that he has the same symbol cut into his chest as the victims Buffy discovered in the church earlier.

Meanwhile, Xander talks to Buffy about his discussion with Dawn, including his suggestion that Dawn purposely made herself larger, which Buffy finds too literal an answer. Buffy then asks Xander to come to bed with her. He says that they both know that it's a bad idea, but she promises to be gentle. They move into Buffy's room, where Buffy passionately starts kissing Xander before his head pops off. After frantically saying she's afraid of the dark, she is sucked through the castle wall, falling to the ground. She wishes not to fall, and a gigantic demon impales her feet and hands with its claws, creating an image similar to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Buffy mentions that she knows the demon, before the demon burns her alive with its fire breath.

It is revealed that this is all a dream, and that Amy is standing in Buffy's room above the sleeping Buffy, preparing to drive a dagger into her chest. Xander and four Slayers soon burst in to find her there, and Amy immediately stabs Buffy before Xander shoots her in the shoulder with his crossbow. Xander picks up the dagger, which has been split apart by a mystical protection spell they had previously placed over Buffy. Amy points out that Buffy is still sleeping, and says that the curse she placed on her can only be lifted by the kiss of true love.

Renee and another Slayer, keeping watch on the rooftop of the castle, have a brief discussion about whether or not Renee loves Xander, the other saying that Renee's sudden interest in a number of Xander's hobbies, including comic books, James Bond movies, and drywalling, speaks of love. Before Renee can reply, they hear a clawing sound and see a legion of kilted zombies climbing up the castle walls.

Xander is still talking with Amy when one of the Slayers runs in to tell him of the zombies, who were summoned by Amy. Xander then commands three of the present Slayers to go into the battlefield, and when queried about Amy says that she's bound inside the castle due to their security. He then tells the Slayers to keep a guard on Amy and to get their witches working on the "true love" spell. Amy clarifies that the person who wakes Buffy from her slumber does not have to be someone whom Buffy loves, just someone that truly loves Buffy, then taunts Xander by asking if he'd like to try, referring to his old crush on Buffy..

As the Slayers wage a war against the zombies (at least two are dead or severely wounded, including Renee, stabbed with their own swords), Buffy continues her dream, internally pleading for it to stop, saying that it hurts too much. That's when a figure in a duster and a red shirt, whose face remains unseen, appears to her, offering his hand and telling her that he has much that he needs to show her, calling her "my love."

As Satsu informs an overwhelmed Xander that they're losing the battle against the zombies, Amy sits on the windowsill in Buffy's room surveying the carnage. She boasts aloud that not one person there can take her down. Willow appears, floating outside the window, and says, "As a friend of mine once said...I'd like to test that theory."