Buffy Summers/Relationships



Buffy Summers had various relationships over the years.

Romance
In contrast to her counterpart Faith, Buffy sought committed relationships rather than casual dates, but was often drawn to dangerous lovers. While discussing a painful reunion with Angel, Buffy asked, "Isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. [A vampire suddenly jumped out of the bushes. Buffy barely reacted, casually staking the vampire, and continued on her way] I wonder where I get that from." Sympathizing with her friend's inability to have a normal relationship, Willow stated, "Poor Buffy. Your life resists all things average." Buffy's attitude to romance was dealt with when she decided not to be dependent on men. When again broched of her personal life by a jealous Angel, Buffy admits to him that she doesn't think she's ready for a real, long-term relationship, coming to the conclusion that she wasn't finished growing up yet to be the person she's meant to be, using a cookie analogy. She has since been less active in her personal life that have gone past minor flings.

Buffy was romantically linked to the sarcastic slacker Oliver Pike, meeting him shortly before discovering she was the current Slayer. Although they initially hate one another, as Buffy's superficial valley girl perspective is at odds with Pike's ethic, the two grow closer after losing friends to Lothos and his minions, and Pike eventually aids Buffy in her defeat of the vampire king. He broke up with Buffy because he believed that their relationship puts both of them in danger.

Buffy made several attempts at having "normal" relationships with high school boys such Owen Thurman and Scott Hope, with little success. Instead, she finds herself increasingly drawn to the mysterious Angel, and remains attracted to him following the revelation that he is a vampire. The unlikely pairing of a vampire and a Slayer is often commented on, with Giles once referring to their relationship as "rather poetic... in a maudlin sort of way." Buffy's eventual loss of her virginity to Angel, which turns him into a soulles vampire, is a metaphor for the real-life situation of a boyfriend who doesn't call his girlfriend the next day. Angel's soul is eventually returned by Willow just as Buffy's final fight with him happens - but it is too late to for him and Buffy must sacrifice the love of her life to save the world. Angel is sucked into hell and Buffy leaves Sunnydale for months to deal with her grief (a cycle repeated by Angel in later years on his own show when he finds out Buffy has died.) Angel is returned from hell just Buffy is letting him go (and is returned on the same spot that she puts the Claddagh ring (a gift from Angel) down. They have an on again, off again relationship filled with longing and passion throughout season 3 until they are both forced to come to terms with the reality of their limitations as a couple. Angel realizes he is preventing Buffy from leading a normal life, and leaves town, but returns on a number of occasions when he feels she might need him; though they try to move on, several instances of their future meetings and interactions make it clear that they still love each other and wish they could be together.

Following Angel's departure, Buffy tries to move on by having an impulsive one-night stand with college student Parker Abrams. She is devastated when Parker later ignores her, having only wanted to have "a good time." After recovering from that, she is then pursued by Riley Finn, a soldier in the Initiative. Although Riley sacrifices his career and friends to be with Buffy, he is continually disappointed by her unwillingness to be truly open and vulnerable with him, admitting to a surprised Xander, "Buffy's like no-one else in the world... But she doesn't love me." Riley also feels that he isn't strong or aggressive enough to satisfy Buffy the way that dangerous vampires did, a fact that Spike picks up on, claiming, "The girl needs some monster in her man, and that's not in your nature." Despite his efforts to understand Buffy's dark desires, Riley slowly drifts away and leaves Sunnydale to rejoin the military. Writer Jane Espenson admits that Buffy's relationship with Riley never really had the fire that her one with Angel did, but states that "it wasn't really meant to." Marc Blucas describes his character's one-sided relationship with Buffy as being something most people could identify with.

Buffy dealt with her traumatic resurrection by embarking on a highly destructive sexual relationship with Spike. Spike, desperate to have any part of Buffy that he can, further drags Buffy into the darkness while Buffy uses him as an escape while she is feeling suicidally depressed. After a visit from her ex-boyfriend Riley who reminds Buffy that she is "a hell of a woman", Buffy realizes that her affair with Spike can't go on. She tells him again that she is using him and can't love him and finally breaks it off and takes her first real step towards healing. Their relationship ended on a violent note when Spike attempted to rape a weakened Buffy in an attempt to get her back and convince her that she loved him. Buffy fights him off and tells him this is exactly why she can't trust him enough for her feelings for him to be love. Tortured by his inability to be either a man or a monster, Spike suffers and identity crisis and leaves to seek out a soul. Buffy gradually began to trust him again after he obtained his soul, defends him to everyone and shows support and belief in him even during the time he is triggered by the First. When Spike decides to sacrifice himself in order to close the Hellmouth once and for all, in spite of Buffy trying to convince him to leave, they clasp their hands together and their hands burst into a flame, in one of the show's most memorable romantic images. Buffy finally tells Spike she loves him (the first time she used the words "I love you" romantically to anyone since season 3) and Spike replies, "No you don't, but thanks for saying it" and tells her to leave him, as the Hellmouth is collapsing around them.



While Buffy told Angel she might have a future with him some day, she claimed that she was still growing as a person and needed to figure out who she was before worrying about a relationship. Similarly, Angel and a resurrected Spike travel to Rome to find Buffy, Andrew explains: "Buffy loves both of you, but she's gotta live her life." Buffy is supposedly dating the Immortal, who Angel describes as "a centuries-old guy with a dark past who may or may not be evil." In fact, the woman seen in Rome was a Buffy decoy, and the story about her dating the Immortal was Andrew's idea, because he thought it would be funny to play a joke on Angel and Spike, knowing their history of rivalry with the Immortal.

When Buffy creates her "army" of Slayers, a young one called Satsu becomes her closest ally, mostly due to her combat skills. Satsu falls in love with Buffy. When Amy puts Buffy under a sleep spell, which can only be broken by the kiss of someone who's in love with her, it is Satsu that kisses Buffy. Buffy tells Satsu that she doesn't share her feelings. However, the two do end up sleeping together and later comments that she finds Satsu addressing her "M'am" sexy. While Satsu remains in love with Buffy, Buffy explains she cannot return those feelings. The two have sex one last time and part ways indefinitely.

Sexuality


Buffy apparently identifies as heterosexual. When a social worker mistakes Willow as her girlfriend, a flustered Buffy claims, "Oh! Oh, it's not a, a gay thing, you know, I mean, well... she's gay, but, but we don't ... gay. Not that there's anything..." {C Buffy's sexuality is furthered complicated when she has sex with lesbian Slayer Satsu. This storyline prompted much discussion about the character's sexuality amongst fans. Buffy insists to Satsu that she is not gay, which does not necassarily make her bisexual, contrary to some fan's beliefs. Buffy identifies her encounter with Satsu as an experiment and nothing more so we can most likely deduce that she is still heterosexual. All of Buffy's romantic relationships however have been heterosexual, and her sexual fantasy about Spike and Angel is one surrounded wholly by phallic imagery.

Romantic relationships
"Because--Okay, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking yet. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat--- or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then... that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done."

- Buffy and her stance on her personal life using a cookie baking analogy

Buffy's primary relationships were Angel and Spike. The two had parallels and rivalries. When Angel and Spike search for Buffy, Andrew Wells tells the two vampires that Buffy loves them both, but she has to live her life. Buffy is shown dreaming a scenario where both lovers are naked and holding her. The three of them are wrapped in chains and surrounded by cupids, and Buffy wears a nurse outfit and is wearing a Claddagh ring (which artist Georges Jeanty added on his accord, as he explained: "Joss had descried the whole scene (in vivid detail) and when I was putting in the little details I put the ring on Buffy. I had it with the heart pointing in because at least in her mind, Buffy was committed to one of them (or both..?)"Q&A with Georges Jeanty for Buffy Season 9 #1).

Other love interests have been relatively more short-lived, including Pike and Riley Finn, an antithesis to Angel and Spike who was her third longest running relationship.




 * Billy Fordham — Buffy developed a crush on Ford in the fifth grade, but he was a "manly sixth-grader" who had no time for younger girls. They became friends at Hemery High, where Ford secretly discovered that Buffy was the Slayer. In 1998, he showed up in Sunnydale and told Buffy that his father had been transferred and that he would be attending the local high school. In fact, Ford had months to live and was there only to find a vampire leader to arrange a deal: the blood of Buffy and his followers in exchange for eternal life. Buffy was devastated by Ford's betrayal, though moved by his cancer. When he rose as a vampire, she staked him without reaction; the Ford she knew and loved had already died.


 * Tyler — In her freshman year of high school, Buffy gossiped about a boy named Tyler with her friends, immediately before she was called as the Slayer. She said of him, "Oh my God! Where were you when I got over Tyler? He's of the past. Tyler would have to crawl on his hands and knees to get me to go to the dance with him. Which, actually, he's supposed to do after practice, so I'm gonna wait."


 * Jeffrey Kramer — Buffy's vain and popular boyfriend during her freshman year at Hemery High, Buffy and Jeffrey grew distant as she took on the responsibility as the Slayer and he finally broke up with her by leaving a message on her answering machine. He went to the dance with Buffy's vapid friend, Jennifer Walkens, but while the pair were having sex, they were interrupted by a vampire attack. Buffy slayed the demons while Jeffrey fled in only his underwear.


 * Oliver Pike — Pike was Buffy's main romantic interest before arriving in Sunnydale. Classmates at Hemery High, they initially hated each other as Buffy's superficial valley girl perspective was at odds with Pike's working class ethics. However, after both losing friends to Lothos, the two grew closer and Pike aided Buffy in killing the vampire king and burning down the school gym full of his minions. Following Buffy's expulsion from Hemery, she and Pike spent time together in Las Vegas, but eventually broke up as Buffy moved to Sunnydale without him. Buffy later told Willow and Xander that she no longer kept in touch with Pike.




 * Angel — Angel initially loved Buffy from afar, watching her as she was called to her destiny as the Slayer; this experience inspired him to move to Sunnydale and become a useful ally in the fight against evil. Buffy initally met Angel when he was following her and she knocked him down. She held somewhat of a dislike towards him at first though was attracted towards him, describing him as " dark, gorgeous in an annoying sorta way." Her feelings toward him began to grow however and Angel continued to be drawn towards her as well. Buffy though found out about him being a vampire which caused her to be conflicted between her duty as a Slayer and her feelings for Angel. While unclear of his motives at first, she eventually realized that he was a good vampire and had a soul, which caused her for the most part to move past him being a vampire. They then both sadly agreed that this wouldn't work out and "it couldn't be anything." However despite this claims, Buffy and Angel offically began to go out despite their better judgement, unable to stay away from each other. Soon after on her 17th birthday, Buffy loses her virginity to Angel an experience which triggered the loss of his soul due to a "moment of pure happiness". As Angelus, he attempted to destroy her life, as well as the world, until his re-ensoulment. Buffy had constantly struggled to kill Angelus, due to the fact that he looked like the Angel she loved and held hope that he would return. Because of his actions, Buffy was forced to send him to an hell dimension to save the world since there was no way she could stop it . Afterwards, Buffy was so distraught and heartbroken that she left Sunnydale for a time and retreated to L.A. without telling her friends. After some time, she came back and attempted to move on from Angel though continued to dream of him. When Angel returned, Buffy took care of him and they tried to be friends, but they continued to be drawn to each other. Spike picked up on this, stating that they'll never be "just friends" and that "they'll be in love til it kills them both." Buffy and Angel come to terms with this especially Buffy who attempts to distance herself from him to no avail. In Amends, when Angel tried to kill himself, Buffy reacts with desparation and confesses to him that she still loves him very much and does her utmost to convince him to continue fighting. Afterwards, they attempt a second try at their relationship until Angel breaks it off since he wanted a better life for her, believing that he was holding her back from a normal life and moves to L.A.. Buffy takes the heartbreak hard, feeling as if "she couldn't breathe" and that she was "trying to keep from dying." Sparks again flew when Angel came into contact with demon blood that made him human again; however, Angel decided that he could not abandon his fight against evil if it meant risking her life and her dying quicker, and prevailed upon the powers that be to rewind time, leaving Buffy with no memory of their happiness together and restoring him to his vampire form. Their relationship then became strained in part of Buffy's relationship with Riley and Angel wanting to help Faith get redeemed which Buffy was adamantly against. However, after a heated argument in L.A., Angel comes to Sunnydale to apologize and Buffy is grateful and they get on good terms again . Angel appears again to comfort Buffy after her mother's death but leaves soon after to avoid sleeping together again, much to the pain of both of them . In Season 6, after Buffy's ressurection, Angel and Buffy met somewhere off-screen, both feeling the need to see each other . While not much is known of their encounter, Buffy would later describe it as "intense." . Later, when recounting the painful experience of having to kill him, Buffy remarked that she would have given up everything to be with Angel and that she loved him "more than [she] will ever love anything in this life." . On the eve of her final battle with The First, Angel gives her an amulet in order to stop the First and shows jealousy over Spike. Buffy reacts with annoyance at this, telling him that while Spike wasn't her boyfriend, he was in her heart but at this point, it's still rather clear that Buffy does still love Angel. She confesses to him that she does still think about a future with him but that it will be a "Long time coming. Years, if ever." . Andrew Wells points out in The Girl in Question that Buffy does love Angel as well as Spike but she "has to live her own life." The comic continuation has Angel showing up in the Buffy comic as a masked villain who has been orchestrating events for the better part of a year, with the intention of bringing Buffy low so she could be empowered. Angel is working for a mysterious entity called Twilight, who has convinced him that he needs to enforce its plan in order to save the world. After being brought to the brink of despair by the actions of Angel and his minions and by the disastrous battle with the US Army and Angel's forces in Tibet, as well as reeling from the recent romantic rejection by Xander and the loneliness she had been feeling the entire year, Buffy becomes a superpowered God-like creature, as Angel had already become before. After Angel reveals himself and explains that he is not Angelus, Buffy, out of anger, at first tries to stake him, furious over the way he had tortured her and her Slayers for an entire year and for having been responsible for the deaths of over 200 Slayers, but it appears that Angel cannot be hurt due to his new powers. After a while, she starts feeling the effects of the glow (a result of the influence by Twilight) which influenced Buffy and Angel to act on their feelings of lust and love for each other, and leads them to do passionate airborne sex that eventually leads to the birth of the new universe, Twilight, which they later find out threatens the existing universe. Twilight has in fact engineered the entire plan in order to bring about its own birth. Angel tries to convince Buffy to stay with him in the Twilight paradise, a universe where the two of them could make anything they want happen. Buffy however, refused to believe him, stating that everytime they had a moment of peace, something bad happens and that it had to be a trap. He tells her it's what she was meant for and while Buffy appears to find the offer tempting, after hearing Xander's scream, Buffy fully rejects it, explaining that she has to fight for her friends and family, and tells Angel "Don't you know me, Angel? I never do what I'm meant for". Angel eventually agrees to leave the paradise, chosing to fight by Buffy's side instead. Buffy then appears grateful and happy, telling him that she "really did miss him." and Angel says "I missed you too." . When Spike shows up in his spaceship with a plan how to save the world, Angel is visibly jealous, and Buffy tells him that jealousy is beneath him and confesses to him that he's the guy she wants to be with and that she still sees him as "the love of her life."(The closest she ever came to saying 'I love you' to Angel since Season 3), using uncharasteristically saccharine language and showing a dubious amount of happiness ("this is the bestest, weirdest, best day of my life") considering the fact that their sexual encounter has brought up an apocalypse, which all adds to the impression that she is still strongly affected by Twilight's magical influence. She also tells Angel she doesn't trust him, which contradicts her statement in season 6 that trust is necessarry for love(Though this could have to do with the fact that Angel's motives were still unclear at the time). Buffy manages to convince Angel to leave and help undo the damage he's done, telling him that she just wants information from Spike, and goes to meet with Spike. Eventually Angel gets possessed by Twilight, tries to kill Spike and fights Buffy to get the Seed. After Twilight-possessed Angel killed Giles, Buffy smashes the Seed in despair, and Twilight's influence is gone. Angel's guilt has left him catatonic and Buffy, unable to look at him but also needing to make sure he'd be taken care of, leaves him in the care of Faith, in Giles's apartment in London. . Thoughout the series it's clear that neither Angel nor Buffy truly moved on from one another and continued to still be in love despite their long-ago break-up.


 * Owen Thurman --- A sensitive and shy Sunnydale High student, whose date with Buffy became a vampire-hunting adventure that made him feel alive. Fearing that such an attitude would get him killed, Buffy broke up with Owen, unable to tell him the real reason why; nor to say that she still cares for him just as much.




 * Xander Harris — Although Buffy does not return Xander's romantic feelings for her, she flirts and dances seductively with him, although she later confessed that this was an attempt to make Angel jealous. Later, under a love spell, Buffy attempts to seduce Xander in the school library. When the love spell is broken, she is grateful that Xander did not take advantage of the situation . Also, 1775 Buffy found Xander more attractive than Angel. Eventually, Xander moved past his feelings for Buffy but remained fiercely loyal and protective to her. Buffy and Xander develop a very close, strong friendship, Xander being one of her best friends besides Willow. Upon the diasterous affair with Parker, Xander had tried his upmost to comfort her with little sucess. Later, Xander had also gave advice concerning her relationship falling apart with Riley but it was too late at that point . When Buffy realized that Spike had an unsettling obsession with her, she began to wonder if something was wrong with her and seemed very dismayed with her personal life. Xander, however, comforted her, insisting that there was nothing wrong with her and that if she was just Buffy, someone would see her amazing heart and fall in love with her and Buffy, touched at his words, hugged him. She had also danced with Xander playfully at a party in an effort to cheer her up, which had helped her feel better . Buffy and Xander's relationship became strained however when Xander had discovered that she had been sleeping with Spike, feeling hurt and angry that Buffy hadn't trusted him enough to tell him. Buffy insisted that he didn't want to know anyway and that it was none of his business. However, they made peace when Xander acknowledged that he wouldn't have reacted postively if she told him eariler anyway and how hard it has been since her ressurrection, but Buffy soon after was shot by Warren Mears . Xander was seen immensely worried over her and was very relieved when she survived. Xander was also protective of Buffy and held great distrust towards Spike, upon the discovery that he had attempted to rape her. During the battle with The First, when being critized by the Potentials, Xander had spoke up and defended Buffy, saying that he had seen her kind and caring heart, and that she cares about them more than they will ever know . Buffy herself has stated the Xander is someone she trusts completely and with her life. While just close friends there are comments made in a dream of Buffy's referring to a sexual relationship between them, with Buffy going as far as to proposition and kiss him before the dream wackiness escalates . Buffy begins to realize she has feelings for Xander but she is too late as he has started a relationship with her sister Dawn. When Buffy confesses to Xander, he doubts the strength of her feelings, noting that she went through a lot of romantic possibilities including experimentation with Satsu before settling on her best friend. Buffy is upset and regretful over this, but understands his feelings.


 * Tom Warner --- A rich member of Delta Zeta Kappa fraternity, a cult that sacrifices beautiful young high school girls to their demon lord Machida in exchange for worldly success. Tom lures Buffy to a party, pretending to be nicer and less materialistic than his vain fraternity brothers. The leader of the cult, Tom attempts to offer Buffy and Cordelia as sacrifices. Though the only good thing Tom does is prevent Buffy from being date raped by frat brother Richard Anderson after she falls unconscious after being drugged.


 * Cameron Walker --- A self-absorbed and arrogant swimming athlete at Sunnydale High. Initially, Buffy is interested in the good-looking Cameron, who waxes poetic about the ocean. However, by the end of their first date, he won't take no for an answer and Buffy breaks his nose and gets blamed for leading him on.


 * Scott Hope — A fellow Sunnydale High student who had a crush on Buffy. Scott asks Buffy out several times. Although Buffy is interested in Scott, she is still overwhelmed by her heartbreak over Angel and repeatedly turns him down. Eventually, Buffy decides to date Scott, but Angel's return from Helldistracts her. Buffy and Scott are only together a few weeks; Scott breaks up with her because he is tired with dealing with her ongoing preoccupations. Years later, Buffy learns that Scott had told classmates that they had broken up because she was a lesbian, and has ironically come out as gay himself in college.


 * Parker Abrams — An attractive, older student whom Buffy met in college. Parker was the second person Buffy had sex with. However, he was only interested in having "a good time" and, not wanting a romantic commitment, ignored Buffy after they slept together. Buffy is devastated by his behavior, and maintains a brief hope that they can reconcile. While under the influence of enchanted beer, Buffy saves Parker's life when he is trapped in a burning building. In the aftermath of the rescue, Parker apologizes to Buffy for his actions, and she responds by bashing him on the head with a wooden club.




 * Riley Finn — Buffy's main love interest at UC Sunnydale. Buffy met Riley when she started at college. They begin a serious relationship after discovering each others' demon-fighting secret identities. Riley sacrifices his career and friends to be with Buffy, but is continually disappointed by her unwillingness to be truly open and vulnerable with him. Also Riley felt that he wasn't strong or aggressive enough to satisfy Buffy the way that dangerous vampires did. He begins drifting away, and Buffy is repulsed to discover that he has been visiting vampire prostitutes and allowing them to drink his blood to get a rush from the intoxication of the blood loss. Although Buffy ultimately tries to stop him, Riley rejoins the military, where he is able to continue demon slaying, and leaves the country, returning to Sunnydale only briefly to track down a dangerous demon, with his new wife Sam. Riley realizes that Buffy has been sleeping with Spike which causes him to show slight jealousy, but only fleetingly. He admits to Buffy that he does not like seeing her with Spike and even though she has her problems, it doesn't matter. He consoles her by meaningfully telling her that she is still the first woman he's ever loved and the "strongest woman he's ever known", describing her as a "hell of a woman.".


 * Ben Wilkinson — Buffy met Ben when her mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour. They flirted but never dated, because Buffy didn't want to define herself by her lack of a relationship. Also he was one half of a hell goddess, Glory.




 * Spike — Originally enemies, Spike and Buffy became reluctant allies. After having a chip implanted into his head that prevented him from hurting humans, Spike eventually fell in love with Buffy. Buffy was unsettled to discover his growing obsession, especially after Spike kidnapped her and tried to blackmail her into admitting she had some feelings for him, by threatening to have his vampire ex-girlfriend Drusilla kill her, while simultaneously promising to kill Drusilla for her . However, Buffy was moved when Spike withstood significant torture to protect her and her sister, giving him a kiss and telling him that the Buffybot thing he did disgusts her but she wouldn't forget what he did, and they reconciled and fought side-by-side until her death. After her resurrection, Spike was at first the only person depressed Buffy could confide in, feeling disconnected from her friends. When Sweet made everyone in town sing about their deepest feelings, and Buffy revealed to her friends that she had been torn from heaven, Spike saved her from suicide, telling her that she had to go on living. Buffy and Spike shared their first real kiss, which Buffy later regretted, but after Giles left for England, she found herself kissing Spike again . Buffy however rationalized it as a " bad kissing decision" and that she was feeling vulnerable because Giles had left which she had told Spike. Their relationship turned violent after Spike learned that he could hurt Buffy despite his chip, and, frustrated with Buffy's rejections and her treatment of him, provoked a big fight. In the midst of the fight, Buffy suddenly kissed Spike, and they ended up having passionate sex, with the building collapsing around them . The morning after, Buffy was disgusted with herself, despite (or because) feeling that this was the best sex she ever had. She coldly told Spike he was just "convient" and it was a "mistake". This was a beginning of an addictive and mutually abusive relationship that made both of them unhappy. Buffy wasn't sure why she kept coming back when Spike was "everything I hate, everything I'm supposed to be against". Buffy eventually broke things off, telling him that she can't love him, is merely using him, and it's "killing her" Buffy throughout Season 6, while admitting she had feelings for him, stated that she did not love Spike despite his objections. Buffy again told Spike she does think their relationship was real for him and that he had to move on which prompts Spike to have a drunken night of comfort sex with Anya . Afterwards Buffy was visibly hurt, which lead to her friends and sister learning about her relationship with Spike. Prompted by Dawn, who told him he had hurt Buffy, Spike went to talk to her, and tried to convince her that she loved him but couldn't admit it to herself. Buffy admited she had feelings for him, but insisted that she didn't trust him enough for those feelings to be love. In a misguided attempt to connect to Buffy through sex and force her to admit to loving him, he tried to rape an injured, weakened and vulnerable Buffy (who eventually fought him off), then, shocked and disgusted with what he had done, left town in search of his soul, because without it he could be neither man nor monster . Buffy was traumatized by the attempted rape, but was still willing to trust Spike to protect her sister, when she found out that he had left town. A few months later, Buffy showed concern when she found a deranged Spike in the basement of the Sunnydale school . Despite her conflicted feelings for him after the past events, Buffy was moved to tears to find out that Spike got his soul back for her<ref. 'Never Leave Me' , Spike's loyalty to Buffy continued after his ensoulment; they developed a strong, meaningful connection. While Spike dealt with the inner demons associated with being ensouled, Buffy offered support and told him she believed in him. Their unresolved feelings for each other were noticed by everyone around them and were a source of concern for Giles in particular, who was worried Buffy's feelings might be affecting her judgment. When Spike's chip started to malfunction, Buffy contacted Riley in order to remove it, convinced that Spike could be a good man and that he won't be a danger, despite the trigger. When the Scoobies and the Potentials kick Buffy out of her own house, Spike offers comfort and support. They spend a platonic night together, and the next day Buffy tells Spike that the last night meant a lot to her and that Spike the one who gave her emotional strengh to find the Scythe, while Spike admits that he never felt as close to someone as he did that night to Buffy. They do not, however, define their present relationship. When Spike asks "What does it mean?" and Buffy replies "Does it have to mean something?", Spike, unsatisfied with her answer, replies that it's the time to go and be heroes instead . Later he sees Buffy greet Angel with a kiss and Spike reacts with jealousy and anger. Once realizing this, Buffy is shown to be irritated(similar to how she reacted towards Angel's jealousy of Spike) but points out the kiss was a "hello" which Spike seems to disbelieve. She gives Spike the amulet that Angel brought her, meant to be worn by a champion of the people, and Spike is moved by her belief in him. They go on to spend the last two nights before the battle in the Hellmouth together; there is ambiguity whether they spent the last night platonically or if they had sex, and [Joss Whedon said he wanted to preserve the mystery. When Spike decides to sacrifice himself in order to close the Hellmouth once and for all, in spite of Buffy trying to convince him to leave, they clasp their hands together and their hands burst into a flame, as the Hellmouth is collapsing around them, in one of the show's most memorable romantic images. Buffy finally tells Spike she loves him (the first time she used the words "I love you" romantically to anyone since Angel) and Spike replies, "No you don't, but thanks for saying it" and tells her to leave him, sending her fleeing out of the Hellmouth to live. Spike chose not to contact Buffy after he was resurrected in Los Angeles, preferring the heroic end and feeling anything after that would be anti-climactic . It is not revealed when and how Buffy exactly found out Spike was alive. When she did see him again, after just having had Twilight-influenced sex with Angel in space and endangered the world, she was gruff, did not hug him but did thank him for his "studly" sacrifice, but later in his room, while he was explaining his plan to save the world, she had a romantic and sexual fantasy about him, in which she told him he used to be the guy she confided to about things she couldn't tell anyone else ("You are my dark place, Spike"), but Spike wrongly assumed she was fantasizing about Angel, and she was too embarrassed to corrrect him. Buffy however, brushes off her fantasy as an "after affect of the Twilight glow." Both Buffy and Spike ended up in San Francisco and kept in regular contact. Spike is one of the few people who are supportive of Buffy after the events of season 8, which initially causes Buffy to burst into tears and run away so Spike wouldn't see her being so vulnerable . Buffy tries to flirt with Spike at the party she invited him to, but he doesn't respond. When questioned by Eldre Koh, Spike says that he believes Buffy needs someone "normal", rather than a vampire like him. When Buffy believes herself to be pregnant after what she thought was a night of drunken blacked out sex, she briefly considers asking Spike to "run away" with her so they could raise her baby together. But after deciding that she wouldn't be a good mother at the moment, she asks him to accompany her to the abortion clinic and Spike offers her his support. However, when during a battle with the "zompires" officer Dowling' tells Buffy that he thinks Spike is still in love with her, Buffy is surprised and immediately asks Spike if this is true. Spike admits that it is, and tells Buffy that he can give her the "normal life" she wants - but the moment is interrupted when a zompire tears off Buffy's arm - which turns out to be mechanical. As Buffy deals with the shocking knowledge that her mind has been transferred into a robotic body by Andrew at the night of the party (the malfunction of the body causing a false positive pregnancy test), she thanks Spike for being there for her, but finding Buffy's body, meanwhile kidnapped by rogue Slayer Simone . Afterwards, once the crisis is resolved, Spike comes to a decision: Leave Buffy and attempt to move on. Spike explains to her that he does love her but is never truly sure where her heart is concerning him and he's tired of being jerked around though he doesn't see it as her fault. But before leaving, Spike says some heartfelt words to her, stating that he has faith in her which is how he'll always know he has her back and that "she'll always do right." She does not try and stop him, unable to say what he wants to hear. He then leaves Buffy by his Bug ship, much to her disappointment and sadness.


 * R.J. Brooks — Buffy, under the influence of a love spell develops a brief, powerful obsession with this high school quarterback, along with Dawn, Willow, and Anya. She betrays her sister's trust by seducing RJ in an empty classroom, and almost kills Principal Wood] to prove her love to him. The spell is broken when [[Spike and Xander ]destroy the enchanted letterman's jacket.


 *  Robin Wood — Buffy and Wood went on one date, but their relationship never went beyond friendship after he revealed that he was the son of an earlier Slayer, due to Buffy's unresolved feelings for Spike, which Wood quickly noticed after Spike interrupted his and Buffy's "first date" . When Buffy discovered Faith had slept with Wood, she had shown shock which Faith misinterpreted as hurt but Buffy corrects her statement, saying that her and Robin were just "very good friends" or "mortal enemies, depending on the day." . Buffy later relocates to [[San Francisco] and goes to Wood on advice on pregnancy, genuinely saying that she wasn't his mother but had done things she never could.


 * Satsu — As Buffy trained newly activated Slayers, a young girl named Satsu became her closest ally. Satsu fell in love with Buffy; when Amy Madison put Buffy in the influence of a sleep spell, which could only be broken by the kiss of true love, it was Satsu who awakened Buffy from her mystical sleep . Realizing this, Buffy talked to Satsu, telling her that she was flattered to know she felt that way about her, but was not gay herself . Despite this, Buffy ended up having sex with Satsu, in a moment she described as a "wonderful night" but claimed would go no further. However, Buffy did spend a second night with Satsu as a "goodbye." By some advice from Kennedy, Satsu was resolved to move on from Buffy but was visibly hurt and disgusted when she realized Buffy was having sex with Angel

Friendships

 * Willow Rosenberg - On her first day at Sunnydale High, Buffy was shown to sympathize with Willow being a loner and school outcast, especially after Cordelia had cruelly bullied her. She had immediately tried to be friends with her, but then realized that she couldn't hang out with her and Cordelia. She gave her advice on dating and saved her life from vampires, which is when they started to bond . Buffy and Willow became best friends, even sisterly, and when stumbling on magicks of how to re-ensoul Angel, she had heartily agreed, wanting to bring Angel back for Buffy. Over the years they develop a extremely close, tight bond and have risked their lives for each other on many occassions. When Willow had realized that Angel returned from Hell and Buffy was taking care of him, she was not judgmental or angry like the others, seemingly only worried about Buffy's well-fare. Willow was also there for Buffy when Angel broke up with her, feeling angry at Angel for hurting her but also believed he was right to leave her . Both enrolled in UC Sunnydale, Buffy felt great sympathy for Willow when Oz left her, likening it to what she went through with Angel and stood by her in time in need, encouraging her and comforting her. Willow was also very protective of Buffy when she realized Riley carried an interest in her, giving him advice but also warned him if he emotionally hurt her, "she would beat him to death with a shovel." However, through the course of Season Four, Buffy and Willow grew distant from each other, as Buffy was so focused on her new relationship with Riley that she grew apart from her friends; which Spike took advantage of, turning her friends against Buffy as ordered by Adam in order for his chip to be taken out . Unsettled by how easily Spike had broke them apart, Buffy promised to Willow and her other friends to "never not talk again." Willow also apologized for keeping her relationship with Tara a secret to Buffy and everyone else, making peace with each other . When Buffy had died, Willow was distraught even to ressurrect Buffy as she had never considered any other option at the time, and was at first happy that it worked in the end but felt newfound guilt that she had ripped her from Heaven. Buffy had at first kept it as secret to everyone except Spike, as she didn't want to burdan them with guilt, though a part of her resented her friends for bringing her back. When reminscing about bringing Buffy back years later, Willow admitted that she had never, even for a second, regretted bringing Buffy back, but sadly thinks she wouldn't say the same about it . When told by Tara that Buffy had been sleeping with Spike, she was not angry; just confused and concerned over it, unlike Xander . After Tara was murdered and Willow turned dark, she was scornful and cruel towards Buffy, even resulting in a full-out fight with her . After Willow was stopped from destroying the world, Buffy in the end forgave a guilt-ridden Willow, renewing their friendship with continued support and faith in her from Buffy. In the end, Buffy freely admitted Willow being one of the strongest people she knew and she helped her create slayers all throughout the world by putting power through the scythe . A year and a half after the destruction of Sunnydale, the two became so close that Willow was able to share her power with Buffy . Despite Buffy's lesbian experiance, both women (loudly) insisted that they are not attracted to each other, but this did not stop Kennedy from being suspicious when the duo shared a hug after Buffy's return from the future(Ironically, in a possible future, Buffy was the one to finally end Willow's life) . At one point, Willow also curiously asked Satsu what Buffy was like in bed, but Satsu refused to answer, too embarassed . Following the end of magic, Willow disapproved of Buffy's decision to destroy the seed, believing the Earth to be dying without magic . Buffy was upset by this and they grew apart a little, until Willow admitted to Buffy that she was never angry with her for destroying the seed and Buffy insisted that they will bring magic back to the world.
 * Cordelia Chase - Initially, Buffy and Cordelia were on friendly terms, as Cordelia had let her borrow her history book and asked her to join her clique because of her fashion sense. Buffy though disapproved of Cordy's treatment of Willow and according to Willow, "could not legally be friends with a nerd(Willow) and a popular(Cordelia)", much to Buffy's confusion. This friendliness quickly ended when Buffy had accidentally held Cordelia by a stake, believing her to be a vampire and afterwards Cordelia had decided to "call everyone she had ever met", consequently destroying Buffy's popularity . She then started acting arrogantly to Buffy constantly, thinking she was weird, causing Buffy to develop a medium dislike of her. When joining the Scooby Gang, Cordelia became nicer to her, as she had asked Buffy to accompany her to the Delta Zeta party, claiming that their sisters with "really different hair."(Which is true. Their personalities are somewhat similar and their relationship reflected that of bickering sisters) . Despite this and the numerous times Buffy saved her, Cordelia still critized Buffy and held little hope in their fight against evil, only when she was in danger herself did she actually have faith in Buffy. At the time of the Homecoming Dance, Buffy and Cordelia were at war trying to reap votes for the dance, verbally arguing(Buffy even calling Cordy a "vapid whore") but came together and made peace when both were captured by the Slayerfest of '99, Cordelia using her confidence to fend off Lyle Gorch(who had mistaken her for Faith) after Buffy killed his wife. After Cordelia and Xander split, Buffy expressed sympathy and understanding towards Cordy's hurt emotions, and encouraged her to be with friends as it helped heal. Cordelia however, reacted hostilely towards her and blamed Buffy for all the bad things that happened to her since she met her. This caused Cordelia to make a wish that Anya granted that Buffy had never come to Sunnydale which had caused her to die in that universe but before that she admitted that things had been better when Buffy was there . Despite this, she showed Buffy occassional acts of kindness such as physically defending Buffy when she was weak , and helped fight against The Mayor . Upon Buffy's reunion with Angel in L.A., she had asked Cordelia how she was and Cordelia had nervously replied she was fine, soon after leaving Angel and Buffy alone . They did not physically see each other again, Buffy only mentioning once that Glory reminded her of Cordelia but upon Buffy's death, Cordelia was devastated and admitted to Angel that she missed her . She was also overjoyed when Buffy was revealed to be alive , but this did not stop her from mocking her relationship with Angel . Buffy was also told at some point that Cordelia had passed on. In a dream, Buffy(who had been thrown back in 1997) told Willow that some day Cordelia would be dead after she had teased her, saying it rather flippantly . Despite their differences though, Buffy did consider Cordelia a friend and both seemed to care and have respect for each other.
 * Oz - Buffy and Oz have always gotten along extremely well. Oz has great respect for Buffy and would always follow her orders without question. When she enrolled in UC Sunnydale, she had confided in him her unbearable roommate Kathy Newman, which raised a cause of concern for Oz how angry she had been . Oz had also agreed without question to give the Gem of Amarra to her ex-boyfriend Angel on Buffy' s order since he had a gig there anyway . Like the other Scoobies, Oz was angry with Parker for using Buffy for sex and "wanted to smack him", espressing sympathy towards her . Buffy liked Oz with Willow, believing him to be good for her at the time and had defended him and Willow's feelings for him against her boyfriend Riley who had a black-and-white view of humans and monsters, insisting that Oz couldn't help the way he was and that love wasn't rational . Years later, Buffy was happy for Oz being able to have a family in Tibet and he had gave some much needed help to them when they were hiding from Twilight, letting them temporalily lose their powers.
 * Kendra - The two Slayers at first started as opposing forces. Buffy being annoyed and estranged with Kendra's lack of social skills and tact while Kendra disapproved of Buffy's unrestricted methods of fighting evil and her relationship with the vampire Angel. When they were forced to work together in order to stop Drusilla, Buffy was greatly concerned for Angel while Kendra was more insistent in dealing with the problem in an organised fashion that required being ordered by their Watchers. This led to Kendra abandoning Buffy who then got apprehended by Spike's goons. However, Kendra arrived in the nick of time to aid Buffy in saving Angel. There Kendra witnessed Buffy's love for Angel and helped her carry Angel out the burning building. Upon departing, Buffy lent Kendra her sweater and tried to hug her before Kendra claimed "I don't hug". Kendra did however show approval for her relationship with Angel, on the grounds she that she found him "pretty cute". When Kendra arrived back to Sunnydale, she and Buffy were instantly on friendly terms and at that time both showed affection to one another, Kendra giving Buffy her lucky stake Mr. Pointy while Buffy mourned Kendra's death, even claiming to Spike that she lost a friend that day.
 * Anne Steele - Buffy had saved Anne's life from Spike and Drusilla, as Anne had at one point been a vampire worshipper . When Buffy had fled to L.A after killing Angel she met Anne again(who had that point been going by "Lily") and saved her life again from the demon Koh after Anne's boyfriend had been killed. This act of heroism inspired Anne so much that she had asked Buffy if she could take her middle name "Anne" as her own. Touched by this, Buffy accepted it and Anne inspired her to go back to Sunnydale to face her friends and family.
 * Tara Maclay - Buffy held a deep fondness and affection for Tara. She had willingly standed up for Tara when her parents had thought she was a demon because of being a witch, refusing for them to go past her. After this event, Tara realized the Scooby Gang was her friends and felt more accepted. Tara, like the rest of them, grieved when Buffy passed on but worried about reviving her. After Tara had broken up with Willow, Buffy had told her about Spike's chip not reacting when he had hit her and asked Tara to check if she came back wrong. Tara had told her she didn't but she was different a little after being revived as her soul was channeled back in her body. Buffy had accidently let it slip out that she had been having sex with Spike while in tears, insisting that it was a mistake. Tara was slightly uncomfortable at this information but placated her by saying it was okay if she did or didn't love him. Buffy, while in tears, confessed to her that she had been using Spike for sex and for her to not "forgive her". Tara had comforted a distraught Buffy and promised she wouldn't tell anyone what she told her, a promise she kept until everyone else had figured it out themselves. Seeing her breakdown, Tara became protective of Buffy towards Spike and often tried to stop Spike's sexual advances on her, developing a dislike towards him. At her death, Buffy was noticablely sad and, much later, had a dream of Tara telling her that "I still blame you for my death" but it was merely a dream . Since Tara's death, Buffy has developed a strong dislike of guns as when Xander had told her about owning a gun, Buffy had said, "I don't like them. They keep killing my friends.", a reference to Tara's death.
 * Sam Finn - Buffy initially felt awkward with Sam, as she was now married to Riley, her ex-boyfriend. But, while alone with her, Sam had told her that she was a "legend" in more ways than being the Slayer, expressing admiration towards her, and being very kind to her. Buffy had privately noted to Riley that his wife was "kinda amazing" and that she did like her, moving past the awkwardness . Sam showed no insecurities towards Buffy, as she was already knew that Riley was hers and she had no reason to be jealous. Later, Sam freely admitted on how Riley would always want to help Buffy and encouraged him to be true to himself and help her, which Riley eventually did despite his initial reservations.
 * Clem - Buffy first met Clem when Spike had dragged her along to a game of kitten poker but had stayed out of it, instead chosing to be drunk . Given Clem's pleasant and peaceful nature, she invited him to her birthday party and became friends with him. She also trusted him enough to watch over her sister Dawn when Spike had already left. When she was training potentials, they had even hugged like old friends.
 * Andrew Wells - Andrew attempted to be a villian in The Trio, doing rather ridiculous stunts in an attempt to finish off the Slayer throughout Season 6 but repeatedly failing. Eventually, Buffy had let Andrew and Jonathan shelter from Dark Willow who had been out to kill them and afterwards he retreated to Mexico. Upon returning to Sunnydale, he had been captured by Willow who had discovered him with pig's blood. Andrew was then kept as a willing "hostage"(preferably a "guestage") by the Scoobies, kept tied to a chair at first. Buffy constantly viewed Andrew as a annoyance like everyone else and was disgusted by the fact that he killed Jonathan by orders of The First. When Andrew had been trying to film what she did, Buffy was against it completely, believing what she does too important to film, even threatening to smash his camera over his head. She had also lead Andrew to believe that she was trying to kill him as blood was needed to quiet the seal but after Andrew, in tears, expressed his guilt over Jonathan's death, Buffy stopped as the seal needed tears, not blood . Once the battle with The First was over, she let Andrew stay with the Scooby Gang, and even ordered him to get the psycotic slayer Dana by any means necessary . However Buffy seemed to become more used to Andrew's annoying habits and develop a fondness for him, as she had saved him from rogue slayer Simone and forgave him for his previous mistakes, admitting that he was part of the family and should get used to making stupid mistakes with good intentions, causing Andrew to finally feel accepted. She had also invited him to her party, though stated it "was just to be polite", despite genuinely caring about him . However, upon the discovery that Andrew had made a Buffybot in order for Buffy to have a normal life(conviently forgetting about periods and eating habits causing her to believe she was pregnant), Buffy was furious at this despite his good intentions and it noticably affected their friendship.
 * Rowena and Leah - Some of her top slayers, Buffy developed comradery with them, but Satsu was her favorite concerning skills.

Parental
Joyce Summers - When Buffy was called as the new Vampire Slayer, she had made a habit of lying to her mother and hiding slaying from her for a long time. Joyce was quite distressed at her daughter keeping secrets and often worried about her rebellious nature, initially believing Buffy was a delinquent. However when Buffy was attempting to stop Acathla, her mother found out about Buffy's slaying. Overwelmed, she had initially wanted her to stop slaying but became more used to it over time. Joyce and Buffy have always had a very loving, deep relationship. When Joyce's health was beginning to deteriote, Buffy was constantly at her side and worried for her very much, relieved when she seemed to becoming better. However Joyce passed on due to anurism, Buffy was grief-stricken. While talking with Angel, she admitted that her mother was always the strongest one and that she didn't know what to do now that she was gone.

Hank Summers -

Rupert Giles -

Behind the Scenes

 * Sarah Michelle Gellar always believed her character was meant to end up with Angel, and was often legitimately emotional during Buffy-Angel scenes. In "The Prom", she could not stop crying while filming the breakup scene, and the set was closed for nearly half an hour to allow her to recover. In "I Will Remember You", David Boreanaz was actually comforting her (he can be heard whispering "Sarah") because she wanted Buffy and Angel to end up together, and was actually crying. Sarah has continued to prefer the Buffy/Angel relationship not only through season 7 (where she calle the relationship "Love in it's truest, most pure form").


 * The writers have often toyed with the concept of Buffy and her best male friend Xander being a romantic couple. Xander had a crush on Buffy, but it was unrequited, with Buffy actually rejecting him when he finally admitted his feelings. When Buffy found herself greatly attracted to Xander while under the influence of a love spell, she was grateful to him for not taking advantage of the situation. More recently, Buffy experiences a strange dream in which she propositions Xander and kisses him on the lips, causing his head to pop off. Jane Espenson claims in the DVD commentary for "I Was Made To Love You" that "it certainly was set up that the two of them should end up together". Sarah Michelle Gellar has gone on record as saying, "I honestly believe [Joss'] original intention was to put Xander and Buffy together. I really do believe that."


 * Sarah Michelle Gellar was the one to jokingly suggest Spike become a love interest; upon hearing this Joss Whedon was initially quoted as saying "No more vampires!" Sarah was later a very vocal detractor of the Buffy/Spike relationship as it was portrayed in season 6, feeling it was degrading both to the character and the actress.


 * During scenes in which they were set to appear nude; James Marsters was required to wear a prosthetic sock over his genitialia. Sarah Michelle Gellar notoriously tortured him by tugging on the sock in between takes.
 * Joss has often spoken of the Buffy/Angel relationship as one of both true love and tragedy, confirming at a Paleo center event that while it may not have been "legal" (speaking about the age difference) that it was definitely "real" and "love".
 * Joss described Angel and Spike as "the two most important men in Buffy's life" (Entertainment Weekly, 5-03).
 * Joss said the following about the shooting of the final televised scene between Buffy and Spike in the Hellmouth in the Chosen DVD commentary: "I thought that this was a sort of romantic image, the two of them. We actually did it with real fire but their hands were all gelled up and you could tell, so this was added CGI, and looks beautiful. I thought it was a nice comment on their relationship. But what I basically told them was "Play the romance. Be proud of him. Love him when you say you love him. Love her when you say she doesn't love you. Forget about the crumbling world. For that period of time it doesn't exist."
 * Asked in an interview which of Buffy's relationship he preferred, Joss Whedon said: "You know what, I liked Spike. With Angel it’s too “Romeo and Juliet”. Which means, as soon as it happens you’re bored. Riley, you know he was a well-adjusted person who loved her in a much, much healthier way than the other two guys. Nobody wants to see that. With Buffy and Spike, they had a real Beatrice and Benedick kind of relationship, in “Much Ado About Nothing”. I think with the wedding, she would have tried to do something fast, but he would have made it elaborate and done everything wrong. It would have been extraordinarily counter-intuitive, and awesome!" BUFFY the Vampire Slayer, Joss Whedon and Katie Lucas